Best Gay/Gay Adjacent 2013?

In 2005, we had two actors duke it for Best Actor who were both playing gay characters.  Philip Seymour Hoffman ended up taking Oscar home for Capote over Heath Ledger's Brokeback Mountain. Three years later, Sean Penn won for Milk.  And, a year after that, Colin Firth played A Single Man, but would end up winning a year later for The King's Speech (trading Oscars with Jeff Bridges).  In that space of four years, gay-for-pay was good (for men) at the AMPAS.  Also, please note that Hoffman, the departed Ledger, Penn, and Firth are all straight.  Now that three years have passed, there hasn't been a gay role in sight for the male lead category (although we did see Annette Bening as a successful doctor who happened to be lesbian; Glenn Close as a butler who lived her life as a man; and if it's even worth mentioning, Natalie Portman's Black Swan for that one scene that I'm sure lives on in the minds of young men and otherwise everywhere) and this year's race will be no different.

However, in the next year or two, we will likely see a pair of sought-after gay/gay-adjacent roles that are either going to get tons of pre-press and/or carry with it Great Oscar Expectations.  Both actors will play characters who were HIV-positive during the 1980s.  Mark Ruffalo will play Ned Weeks in Ryan Murphy's The Normal Heart from Plan B Productions opposite Julia Roberts in a film that will lens the beginning of next year, but won't reportedly release until 2014 (once upon a time, Barbra Streisand tried to get the film version off the ground as director).  Though the film is fictitious, it's largely based on the life of playwright and activist Larry Kramer.  Matthew McConaughey has been making news lately for his recent incredible weight loss.  He looks horrible, so I'm hoping that filming will get underway soon for his role as Ron Woodroof, the real-life straight homophobic HIV-pioneer in The Dallas Buyer's Club, who dealt with the disease during a decade when it was largely known as The Gay Plague.  Brad Pitt was once attached to the project WAY back.  Who knows when filming is going to start, but new cast members are getting added as we speak, so it could be anytime in the next couple months.  Expect a 2013 release if it does.

Ruffalo has developed a strong resume over the last decade since You Can Count On Me skyrocketed his career and has one nomination under his belt for playing a sperm-donating chef in The Kids Are All Right.  McConaughey has had more success at the box-office, with help or otherwise.  Yet, interestingly enough, in the initial phases of their respective careers, both men have taken on second billing in a variety of movies with female costars who arguably were the bigger star.  McConaughey: Boys on the Side, A Time to Kill, Contact, The Wedding Planner, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.  Ruffalo: View from the Top, My Life Without Me, In the Cut, 13 Going on 30, Just Like Heaven, Rumor Has It, The Kids Are All Right.  No judgment there, just interesting.  I can't think of any actors of their generation with more of such films under their belt.  Also, please note, both Ruffalo and McConaughey are straight.

With respect to The Normal Heart, there are many in the LGBT community who refer to straight actors playing roles such as Weeks as "faggot face," to put it bluntly, the gay equivalent of "blackface."  The recent release of Cloud Atlas, which portrays of all kinds of [insert race/gender here]-face, has helped spark such discussions, for better or worse (with Atlas, since just about every race is portrayed by someone of another, and both genders are sometimes represented by someone of the opposite gender, I've had no trouble assuming the best intentions of the directors, one of whom had a nontraditional journey to her true gender).  The argument is that a gay role should be played by a gay actor, as gay actors are an oppressed sexual identity in the film industry; they're type-cast out of straight roles by the meer fact that they're gay, so there should be a reverse-discrimination process against straight actors to even the playing field.  The argument is: why should a straight actor profit professionally from a role depicting someone of an oppressed sexuality, when there is a stigmatization which still exists that persuades some to remain in the closet.  Or, at the very least, there is the perceived fear that certain gay actors, based on the types of roles they have built their success on, would best serve their career by staying in the closet.  The argument is: why not reward those who are brave enough to live their life without shame with roles that should be played by no others?

True enough, there are plenty of actors who have come out in the last couple of years (or who had always been out) who are doing just fine career-wise: Neil Patrick Harris, Zachary Quinto, Matthew Bomer, Cheyenne Jackson, Alan Cumming, Chris Colfer, Nathan Lane, etc.  And there out lesbians also who continue to be in demand: Lily Tomlin, Jane Lynch, Portia de Rossi, etc.  Most of them are TV-show headliners and have dabbled a bit in movie supporting roles, though none of them have enjoyed a part as the romantic dramatic lead in a major motion picture.  Well, I take that back.  There was Moment to Moment with Tomlin opposite, ahem, John Travolta of all people, but that was before being out was a thing.

"Romantic lead" is something reserved for someone whom Hollywood has big plans for.  The jury is still out on who will play heterosexual Christian in the movie version of Fifty Shades of Grey, and it's possible that Bomer is still in consideration, with a contingent of fans rallying to his support.  It will be interesting if their efforts end up being fruitful, as the conventional wisdom is, flatly: women want straight actors in straight roles, because a gay actor would ruin their fantasy.  I have absolutely zero idea if this is true or not, or where it falls in the grey area, so to speak.  After talking with some of my lady friends, the consensus depends on whether or not they find the actor sexually appealing to them, regardless of their personal life.  Some do, other don't.  If the out, yet private Bomer were to buck the system and score the role, it would definitely be a milestone that I would love to see happen.  Chances are, however, there will be little speak of Oscar regarding Fifty Shades.  Just a hunch.

And, when it comes to Oscar, there are few out actors who have appeared in the leading acting categories.  There are those who have had rumors floated about them, both young (Will Smith, Jamie Foxx, Jeremy Renner) and old (John Travolta, Tom Cruise, Kevin Spacey), whether true, false, or something in between.  But, Sir Ian McKellan, who was nominated thirteen years ago for his role as director James Whale in Gods and Monsters, swept just about every ancillary award out there before losing the big one to the crazy Italian who walked across the tops of seats to collect his award and mainstream America hasn't heard from ever since (Roberto Benigni ... gee, thanks, Harvey Weinstein). Feel free to correct me, but I believe McKellan has been the only out actor nominated for an acting Oscar, and it was for playing gay role.  As far as actresses, Jodie Foster has been living in the glass closet with her partner and two sons, and my understanding is her extremely private and non-advertised relationship didn't even start until 1993, after she had won her two Oscars.  (she was nominated one more time for 1994's Nell)

It's kind of sobering.  I always knew Hollywood was homophobic, but looking at these facts, the lead Oscars are really a straight-person's game.  As far as the supporting categories, no out actors nominated come to mind either.  Can you think of any?

Ruffalo seems like a pretty sensitive guy who I imagine is aware of these complexities or will be by the time he finally assumes the role.  I imagine he'll want to do the part and the gay community justice, knowing full well there is a great deal of pressure lying on his shoulders.  I've always enjoyed him as an actor.  While he doesn't have the widest range, or seems to choose roles that only show off a portion of it, I find that he has this vulnerability to him and fearlessness of being in the moment that I quite enjoy.  He's generally pretty adorable in those aforementioned boyfriend roles, especially in one of my favorites 13 Going on 30.  He has also appeared in some pretty stellar films like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and his reunion with Kenneth Lonergan, Margaret.  My favorite performance of his is probably still his breakthrough role in 2000's You Can Count On Me.  I haven't seen the movie since its initial release, but I recall him playing a messed-up character whom I really felt for.  Additionally, the chemistry between him and Laura Linney, who played his sister, was insane.  It's of some comfort that, out of the straight actors out there, Ruffalo is assuming the role.  Still, it gets me thinking in ways I hadn't thought of before.

[Note: This post was originally only half this length, but thank you to commenter Steve50 over at Awards Daily who got my mind going on this.]

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Winona For ... Now (Happy Birthday Suitless)

It has been almost eleven years since Winona Ryder's infamous trip to Saks Beverly Hills, when she tried taking the five-fingered discount while looped up on prescription vitamins.  And, frankly, it was one of the biggest tumbles we've ever seen with a modern Hollywood star, from just a professional standpoint.  Granted, things were already going south.  Commercially, her 1994 Oscar nod as Jo March in Little Women signified the height of her (limited) box-office and critical powers, having been designated earlier that year as the voice of a generation in Reality Bites.  She kept working, but everything she touched seemed to blow up in her face.  The final insult, perhaps, was that she set out to produce herself as the lead in Girl, Interrupted, only to end up observing, on-screen and off, Angelina Jolie steal all her thunder.  Within two years of Jolie's win, Ryder would be a Hollywood pariah.  She has been clawing her way back at a molasses pace ever since, as if there are invisible producers pushing up against her.

[Imagine via Lainey Gossip]

One could argue that she wasn't all that, as a thespian.  Heathers, Beetlejuice, and Edward Scissorhands, were all modern classics that were more a privilege for her to have appeared in, rather than, having had enhanced with her acting abilities.  She had an open presence and unassuming qualities that worked for the characters she was playing.  Yet, cool films aside, her work didn't start to get interesting to watch until she started losing her grip on reality.  Her petulant movie star cameo in S1m0ne who Al Pacino replaces with a computerized actress was pretty shrewd.  And her Adam Sandler rom-com turn in the forgettable Mr. Deeds was an instance when she was actually adding something of value to a project that was well beneath her (watch a bit of her in it sometimes, she's great!).  Those were actually the last two films she made before she dove off into the deep end.

It took her a few years before she even started working again, as she was considered to be highly uninsurable.  And, sadly, many of these ventures (meaning most) were, embarrassingly enough, straight-to-DVD affairs.  And, when you compare the quality of these films to even what Lindsay Lohan (who is guilty of so many worse, often repeated transgressions) is making, it's quite shocking just how low on the totem pole she was pushed down (granted, Lohan benefits from the short-term sensationalism of her choices, which are going to do nothing for her long-term prospects).  Ryder was literally starting all over again.  From the bottom.  All she had was her name.  How could this be?!  In 2009, she scored a role in JJ Abrams' Star Trek.  But her appearance lasted all of say maybe thirty seconds.  And, Vulcan aspect aside, she played Zachary Quinto's mother. Not only has Ryder always looked years younger than her age, she was only six years older than Quinto.  It was as if she would have been better off doing a Lifetime movie (paging Lohan)--although she did do CBS two years ago, which got her a SAG nod.

However, the same year, with an albeit small, but effective role in the amazing, award-winning Black Swan, she turned a corner.  That isn't to say Hollywood was going to throw her a bone any sooner, but, at least, she was moving forward: fifth billing in an extremely cool Best Picture nominee.  She revisited a stupid guy comedy last year with The Dilemma.  She added some necessary verve to a banal situation much like she did with Mr. Deeds, only to have her character thanklessly dispatched.

Now, am I crazy about THREE of her upcoming projects being opposite James Franco?  Not really.  In a perfect world, it would be some amalgam of A Star is (Re)Born, with Ryder back on her way up, and Franco continuing further down from his self-designated "artistic" perch.  One of them sounds like a Black Swan with her in the Portman role, which has gone straight-to-DVD.  One of them costars Chris Evans, who was highly protective of her during TIFF and releases early next year.  And the final one, Homefront, leaves one asking: with Jennifer Lopez starring in Parker, is Jason Staitham now in the business of employing formerly bankable movie star actresses?  Go figure.

Tomorrow, Ryder turns 41.  Happy Birthday, Noni.  I hope your 40s treat you well and you find more opportunities to show off your maturing skills as an actress.

Here's a piece I wrote on her last year: Winona Ryder #2.

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Movie Spoiler CLOUD ATLAS (2012) starring Tom Hanks - after review

I probably can attribute a good portion of fondness I feel towards Cloud Atlas to its source material, of which I haven't had the pleasure of reading. Filmmakers Tom Tykwer and the Wachowski siblings have taken David Mitchell's novel, and thrown films/series like The Matrix, Amistad, Cocoon, Amadeus, Star Trek/Game of Thrones, Silkwood/Foxy Brown, into a blender and poured them out as one whimsical mixture, edited by Alexander Berner. Atlas is big melting pot of genres (conspiracy thriller, science fiction, romance, call to arms) that put actors in Asian-face, white-face, Mexican-face, etc, with a few made-up languages, while set in various settings (though, most are Anglo-based) and periods in time, including two points in the future, overlapping thanks to correspondence and technology. The movie is cast like a repertory company with an assortment of principal actors taking on roles in most, if not all interweaving stories. No one is truly that weak, though some clearly do not stand out, air-time aside. The strongest link would be Jim Broadbent, with an assist from Hugh Grant and some villainous creations from Hugo Weaving.  It's should also be said that the 1970s segment was authentically costumed.

Ten years ago, many critics went bananas over 21 Grams, Alejandro González Iñárritu's followup to Amores Perros. Iñárritu has carved himself out as a director who relies heavily on slick editing and overlaying ensemble story-lines told at different points in time. (A Robert Altman/Quentin Tarantino influence perhaps?) I had trouble with it, because without a knife, there wasn't anything particularly profound about the actual linear story lines. With Atlas, some may say: well, THAT'S the point. It's that we are linked by varying degrees in astounding ways on infinite time continuum's.  Be it as it may, this type of storytelling is more often than not distracting, just like Baz Luhrman's insane need to leave an image before he even gets to it can be. So goes Atlas sometimes, where we get six different stories boiled down and combined together for the big screen to say something monumental about the human experience and how we are all connected to each other, as well as the past and future.  There's a small, touching twist at the end. The surprise is just enough and welcoming, rather than the epic reaching for some all-encompassing way to tie everything together in some unrealistically faux-remarkable way.  The tales are lightly joined, rather than chained together, which is nice.  This is understandable, as the whole point of the interconnectedness doesn't need to be hammered into our brains anymore than it has.  Don't get me wrong: I want to love on this movie. There is nothing more that I crave than getting lost in the romance of an emotional opus. Cloud Atlas is ambitious and worth relenting to, if only for a few (almost three) hours.  It's easier to just set aside its frustrating imperfections and give in to its pull without succumbing to picking it apart.

Movie Spoiler Summary

***color coded by story for your viewing pleasure***

Cloud Atlas begins with an older version of Zachry (Tom Hanks), from the Sloosha's Crossin' an' Ev'rythin' section of the novel, telling stories by campfire at night.  We'll soon flashback to when he first meets his future wife Meronym, a woman from another planet.  Ev'rythin' proper takes place somewhere in the future, where humanity has regressed to a Game of Thrones-style of living, but they're visited by the last members of a technologically advanced being from another universe who have come to the planet out of desperation.  Each race of characters has their own affected language, that is sometimes hard to follow by word and easier to tap into the emotions.  Hanks mostly drives this story, with Halle Berry who also has substantial, if not unimpressive role, and Hugo Weaving.  

What commences is an introductory montage for several minutes of six interweaving stories taking place at different points in time and geography.

Pre-Credit Introduction Montage
The Pacific Journal of Adam Ewing is set in 1849 Pacific Islands, which will detail the story of white man Ewing (Jim Sturgess) who bonds with black slave Autua (David Gyasi) board ship and the former's journey to becoming an abolitionist along with his wife Tilda (Donna Bae in white-face).  There is an excavation going on with Ewing in attendance and Dr. Henry Goose (Hanks) shares his discovery.  Sturgess drives this story with support from Gyasi and Hanks.  Half-Lives: The First Luisa Rey Mystery is set in San Francisco 1973, which will account reporter Rey's (Berry) investigation into a power plant mystery thanks to a chance meeting with an older version of Rufus Sixsmith (James D'Arcy), a respected nuclear physicist turned whistle blower.  We first see Rey driving while passing through a security gate.  Berry drives this story with support from Broy Nicholas Lee, Keith Napier, and Hugh Grant.  The Ghastly Ordeal of Timothy Cavendish is set in 2012 London and concerns the title author (Jim Broadbent), a cantankerous old man who gets duped by his brother Denholme (Grant) and stages a breakout from a retirement community.  We first meet him at work on the typewriter as he readies to account his "ghastly ordeal," Broadbent narrating.  A filmed version is later seen by characters in another story.  He drives this story, with main support from Grant.  Letters from Zedelghem is set in 1936 and involves a young Cambridge musician Robert Frobisher (Ben Whishaw) who leaves his lover Rufus Sixsmith (D'Arcy) to forge his ambitious plan to join forces with composer Vyvyan Ayrs (Broadbent) in Zedelghem, Belgium, to write the greatest piece of music ever.  Berry plays Ayrs' wife Jocasta in white-face.  When we first meet him it's at the very end of his life when, faced with public humiliation, he climbs into a bathtub, shoves a luger into his mouth, and proceeds to kill himself; Sixsmith reads his letters in retrospect with Whishaw providing the narration.  Whishaw drives this story with support from Broadbent and D'Arcy.  An Orison of Sonmi~451 is set in 2144 in Neo Seoul, a Korean metropolis that rose above Old Seoul, Korea, due to great flooding caused by global warming.  It's about fabricant Sonmi~451 (Bae) who disobeys authority and captures the interest of insurgent Hae-Joo Chang (Sturgess in Asian-face) sparking a revolution that ultimately fails in the short-term.  Their story begins during Sonmi~451's final interview.  Her beliefs are later echoed in Ev-rythin'.  Bae and Sturgess both drive this story.  

Post-Credit Introduction Montage
In Journal, Ewing makes a deal with Reverend Gilles Horrox (Grant), mentioning Haskell Moore (Weaving).  Later, Ewing, Goose, Horrox and his wife (Susan Sarandon) dine, while Kupaka (David) attends their needs, and they discuss slavery.  The next day, Ewing faints when he watches Autua getting savagely whipped.  Goose tends to him in bed.  In Letters, Robert lies with Rufus when there is a knock at the door from the hotel management.  Robert escapes out of a window and travels to Zedelghem to work as an amanuensis for for Ayrs.  The composer isn't too keen on Robert at first ("you must have misheard me; I said a melody, not a malady") until he reveals his talent.  In Mystery, Rey leaves a drunken man she was supposed to interview behind at a party and boards an elevator with Sixsmith, who has stopped the door from closing.  She comments, "It's nice to know the age of chivalry isn't dead."  The power goes out and they get stuck.  Sixsmith responds, "Still glad the age of chivalry isn't dead?"  They exchange stories and he makes note of her comet birthmark near the left side of her clavicle, which he has seen before.  He gets ready to share something very important with her, but then the power comes back on.  In Ordeal, testy Irishman Dermot Hoggins (Hanks) runs into his publisher Cavendish at a party.  Berry is also their as an Indian party guest.  Hoggins produces a negative review of his latest book by Felix Finch (Alistair Petri) and is angry that his latest tome Knuckle Sandwich hasn't caught on yet with the public.  He commands everyone's attendance by banging two platters together, and denounces the critic.  Finch shames him, "A signed copy of an unpulped Knuckle Sandwich?  Can't be many of those left.  Well, just what does that leadless pencil you call an imagination have in mind to end this scene, hmmn?  Hoggins throws him to his death from the top of the building.  Knuckle Sandwich becomes a huge hit thanks to the publicity and Hoggins goes to jail.  Cavendish enjoys the success, but Hoggins' guys quickly break down his door looking for money soon after.  In Orison, Sonmi~451 describes her life as a fabricant and we see scenes from her work and "personal" life, which revolves around the mantra "honor thy consumer."  She recounts a love-making incident between a female fabricant and her boss Seer Rhee (Grant), which is brought to her attention by Yoona-939 (Zhou Xun).  Yoona-939 shows her a scene from The Ghastly Ordeal (Cavendish played by Hanks) on a small electrical device called a keno (?).  What follows is an incident at a restaurant where a consumer defiles Yoona-939.  She strikes back and leaves, but she's stopped and later destroyed.  In Ev'rythin', Zachry's friends are killed out in a forest by a tribe of ruthless men wearing skeletal facial paint.  He hides, as he's visited by an evil green figment of his imagination Old Georgie (Hugo Weaving).  Rumors abound about Zachry.  On the beach with a young girl, he watches a hovercraft glide along the ocean towards him.  He returns home to a destroyed village.  Meronym (Berry) greets him.  Abbess (Sarandon) and others ask him questions.  Old G appears to Zachry to warn him about the visitor, but he spies on Meronym placing a silver instrument against the wounds on her arm.  There's a quick montage of various parts of the six stories and we next see Zachry waking up.  He shares a visit with Abbess.  

From here, the scenes get exceptional shorter, mixing the six stories together in various manners ...

Discovery Montage
Sonmi~451 observes Seer Rhee's body and Hae-Joo Chang finds her.  Adam writes a letter about being quarantined for being ill.  Robert writes about working with Ayrs and finding Adam's journal.  Older Sixsmith reads his letter while he watches his former boss from Schwaneke Lloyd Hooks, operator of a nuclear reactor, on television and places a call to Rey.  Cavendish calls various contacts for money to pay Hoggins.  He visits his brother Denny, whose wife Georgette (Whishaw in drag) also happens to be around.  Cavendish asks him for money as his one last ditch effort.  On the ship, stowaway Autua surprises Adam and gives him a choice: help him escape slavery or kill him.  Meronym communicates with her people about having difficulties finding a valley person to help her locate an old transway marker.  Sixsmith gets off the phone with Rey, and assassin Bill Smoke (Weaving) shows up in his room to snuff him out and take his file.  Rey shows up at his door to no answer.  Sonmi~451 and Chang leave.  Rey convinces an attendant to open Sixsmith's room only to discover his dead body and Robert's letters.  Robert writes Sixsmith about presenting his work "Eternal Reoccurrence  with Ayrs to Tadeusz Kesselring (Weaving).  They dine with Jocasta.  Robert and Ayrs debrief afterwards.  Zachary walks with Meryonym through forest.  He saves her from falling off a bridge.  When warriors approach, they hide.  Cavendish takes a trip where he reminisces about the last time he took the same train, long ago, when he was with the love of his life, Ursula.  Zachry seeks counsel from Abbess.  There's another montage involving multiple parts of the film, while Abbess narrates, "Our lives are not our own.  From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.  

A Whole New World/Revelation Montage
Chang escorts Sonmi~451 to Neo Seoul.  Adam feeds the worldly Autua, who knows there is a better life for him.  Rey's teenage neighbor Javier Gomez visits her while she reads Robert's letters.  Robert makes love to Jacasta.  Rey visits a record store attended by the owner (Whishaw) and listens to one of Robert's compositions, "Cloud Atlas."  She comments that she has heard it before.  Cavendish reminisces again about Ursula's parents walking in on them leading to Cavendish covering his crotch with the closest object (a cat), causing him to fall out a window and injure himself.  "Official cause of accident listed on the hospital form: pussy."  The present day, Cavendish goes back to the house and sees the older Ursula.  Zachry visits an ailing girl.  We watch Sonmi~451 have her collar removed, revealing a comet birthmark.  Zachry runs to find Meronym for assistance.  Cavendish registers at the Aurora House convalescent home, having been duped by his brother Denny in exchange to pay off Hoggins.  Chang takes Sonmi~451 to a room where he shows her a view of the mostly underwater Old Seoul.  Zachry injects girl with Meronym's silver instrument when no one is looking, and she shows up.  Chang shows Sonmi~451 her accommodations.  We got back to the interview.  Meronym saves the girl.  Sonmi~451 dresses up and watches a version of The Ghastly Ordeal of Timothy Cavendish.  Cavendish wakes up to Nurse Noakes (Weaving) rifling through his personal items.  Rey visits Hooks at Schwaneke headquarters, who introduces her to Joe Napier (Keith David), his security chief.  Cavendish complains about Noakes, but he's shit-out-of-luck.  Sonmi~451 and Chang continue to watch a filmed version of The Ghastly Ordeal.  A groundsperson stops Cavendish from leaving.  Sonmi~451's interview continues as she describes her accommodations set up by Chang.  Zachry takes Meronym on her requested trek.  Chang shows Sonmi~451 a technologically advanced form of communication.  

Leap of Faith Montage
Adam shares Autua's identity with the ship's captain, hoping he can help him.  Sonmi~451 receives a haircut.  Rey notes an office door that once bore the name of Sixsmith.  Cavendish sneaks a call to his brother, who reveals that he knows about his affair with Georgette.  Denny is quite pleased with his revenge.  "I do have my fingers crossed for scenario involving you, Nurse Noakes, and a broom handle.  Cheerio, Timmy."  Noakes finds Cavendish.  The interview continues with scenes from Sonmi~451's new accommodations.  Ayrs wakes Robert up, full of inspiration.  Rey thumbs through files when one Isaac Sachs (Hanks) walks in on her.  Sonmi~451 and Chang are discovered and they must escape by a high-tech foot bridge Chang employs crossing over to another building.  The ship's captain requests Autua display his sailing skills.  Adam learns that the captain plans to kill Autua.  Sonmi~451 and Chang escape gunfire.  The captain takes aim at Autua.  Sonmi~451 and Chang fall from bridge.  Autua proves himself.  Isaac takes Rey to Hooks, but covers for her.  They talk.  Cavendish feels trapped.  Boardman Mephi (Weaving in Asian-face) arrives in Sonmi~451's cell.  She cries after being told Chang has died.  Goose, after the key around his neck that will open a chest filled with gold coins, tends to the ailing Adam.  Isaac and Rey talk and contemplates sharing information with her.  "If I help you, I could lose my job, or worse.  If I don't, a lot of people ... it would be worse than worse."  Zachry and Meronym talk by campfire, while he's haunted by Old Georgie.  Isaac takes a trip on a plane, while he philosophically narrates a montage including Orison.  Rey finds that Isaac has left a report in her trunk.  Assassin Bill Smoke follows Rey.  Isaac's plane blows up, care of Smoke.  Ayrs' listens while Robert plays what he wrote.  Robert makes a pass at Ayrs who laughs at him.  When Robert threatens to leave, Ayrs blackmails him and insinuates he'll ruin his reputation if he does. 

Escape Montage #1
Sonmi~451 is marched down a hall.  Chang, who didn't die, saves her.  Cavendish clandestinely meets with three other residents, including Mr. Meeks (Robert Fyfe) in the basement to plot their escape.  Sonmi~451 and Chang are stopped in a vehicle.  Goose continues to tend to Adam, while plotting to steal the key around his neck.  Cavendish creates a distraction in the dining hall, which sends everyone into commotion.  Robert steals Ayrs' luger.  Zachry and Meronym climb a mountain.  The authorities investigate Chang's vehicle.  Meronym almost falls to her death, and Old Georgie arrives while Zachry tries to save her.  Chang saves the day again Matrix style.  Zachry manages to pull Meronym to safety.  
Chang and Sonmi~451 continue their escape.  Ayrs takes the composition and Robert shoots him.  Goose attempts to steal Adam's key.  Chang and Sonmi~451 make it to a tunnel, where they escape by blowing it up and climbing through hatches in the ground.  Rey's car is driven off a bridge.  She crashes into the water and sinks, but manages to swim to the surface.  

The Decision to Trust Montage
Zachry and Meronym visit the tomb of the dead and revere a feminine statue.  She explains "this place joined here ov'there," connecting their two planets.  Sonmi~451 and Chang walk through a market.  Rey finds Javier, who helps her get into her apartment.  Joe is there.  When they find a special room, Meronym begins communicating with her people.  Sonmi~451 and Chang continue to walk through the market of various fabricants.  Meronym gives Zachry a history lesson.  She shows him Sonmi~451 on a screen, as an example of the truth.  Sonmi~451 repeats the words used earlier (yet in the past) from Abbess.  Joe reveals himself to Rey.  Old Georgie convinces Zachry to pull out a knife with the intent to stab Meronym.  Joe warns Rey that there's a hit on her and even though Smoke killed Isaac, the PLO were blamed.  In a basement, union leader General An-Kor Apis (David) greets Sonmi~451 and Chang.  Joe shares that both him and Smoke are paid by Hughes & Pikes Consulting, an oil lobbying company.  Rey figures out that "Hooks doesn't want the report discovered, because he doesn't want the reactor fixed.  He wants it to fail."  Zachry contemplates killing Meronym, but resists.  Robert hides from the authorities, even though Ayrs didn't die or was even that injured.  Regardless, he wants vengeance.  Joe tells Rey they need to get the report and she needs to trust him.  Apis tries to convince Sonmi~45 to join forces with the union.  Meronym starts doing some cosmic shit and a satellite forms on top of the mountain above them, to help signal her people to her whereabouts.  Sonmi~451 and Chang lie in bed and kiss.  Robert watches the sun.  "I understand now that boundaries between noise and sound are conventions. All boundaries are conventions waiting to be transcended.  One may transcend any convention if only one can first conceive of doing so ... I know that separation is an illusion."  The ship carrying Adam continues on its journey.  Sixsmith shows up at a china shop where Robert drops an object on the ground.  Sonmi~451 and Chang make love.  Meronym sleeps as Zachry tends to the campfire.  Sixsmith and Robert destroy an assortment of valuable items.  He then wakes up on a train.  Autua wakes Adam up.  Robert returns to hotel, where the manager (Hanks) recognizes the fugitive and demands more money.  Rey wonders to Javier, "Why we keep making the same mistakes over and over."  Javier helps her figure out they need to find Sixsmith's niece, Megan.  

Escape Montage #2
Cavendish prepares for the break.  He calls Mr. Hotchkiss (Andrew Havill), one of the resident's children, as their parent is about to change the will.  On the ship, Adam is still ailing.  Cavendish hides in Meek's room and Noakes knocks on Cavendish's door.  The Hotchkiss's arrive and Cavendish locks Noakes in his room, but Noakes has phone access.  Joe calls Hooks and insinuates that Rey is a problem.  Cavendish and the gang gather in the Hotchkiss vehicle, but they don't know how to start it.  Rey walks across Van Ness up hill under Joe's supervision.  Cavendish and the gang finally take off in the car, but must go back for Meeks.  They then break through the front gate.  When Smoke is about to hit her, Joe saves Rey by running into Smoke's car.  A shootout commences while a busted hydrant sends out a cascade of water.  On the ship, Goose tries to convince Autua to leave.  Smoke steals another person's car and shoots them dead, before starting to chase after Rey and Joe.  Cavendish and his clan gather at a local pub.  Nurse Noakes arrives with her posse.  A confrontation ensues driving Meeks to stand up on a table and begin screaming.  Smoke continues to pursue Rey and Joe, who shoots his tires sending him into a crash.  The duo escape into a sweat shop, and run into a scared Mexican attendant (Bae in Mexican-face) where Berry breaks out something really quickly that sounds like Spanish, but sounds pretty fucked up (come to think of it, I'm not sure Bae is speaking Spanish either).  Whatever she says, the lady helps them hide.  Meeks rouses the crowd against Noakes and a fight commences.  Smoke shoots the Mexican attendant's dog and calls her a wetback.  On the ship, Goose breaks out metal cutters.  Smoke finds Rey and Joe, but they're saved by the Mexican attendant, who bludgeons him to death.  She ends her revenge with the line, "And, don't call me a fucking wetback."  On the ship, Goose steals Adam's key and puts the final touches on killing Adam slowly.  Autua disturbs his plan and they fight.  Adam ends up killing him by dropping the chest of gold coins on top of his head.  

Death & Other Conclusions Montage
Chang takes Sonmi~451 to a room.  Zachry runs.  Robert writes.  We witness how fabricants are placed into a chair, where people in red outfits remove their "cola" and put her into permanent retirement.  Zachry arrives at a village.  Many of his loved ones lie dead.  He slices the throat of a sleeping warrior.  Chang explains to Sonmi~451 how fabricants are recycled.  "They feed us to ourselves," understanding him, she cries.  In bed, she decides to join the revolution.  Zachry finds one of the girls is alive.  The warriors show up and chase them.  Meronym's hovercraft heads toward land.  Chang and the revolutionaries take their place for battle at a union-controlled satellite link.  In the interview, Sonmi~451 explains that her endorsement united the union.  We witness the ensuing blowout in flashback.  The warriors gain on Zachry and the girl and he has flashbacks to the assault at the beginning of the film.  Meronym arrives to save them, but she's stabbed.  Zachry saves her for the third time with a bow and arrow.  Autua saves Adam's life, nursing him back from death's door.  He shows him that they've arrived at their destination.  Rey finds Megan Sixsmith (Zhu Zhu) to give her all of her father's letters.  She promises her that she'll avenge her father's death.  We see Robert spying on younger Sixsmith on a tower.  On the hovercraft, Meronym convinces her people to let her be with Zachry.  Robert continues to write his final letter.  The younger Sixsmith arrives at the hotel too late, as Robert commits suicide.  He finds his body in the bath tub.  In the interview, Sonmi~451 confirms Chang died during the final battle.  If the revolution was doomed to fail, she's asked why she went ahead.  "If I had remained invisible, the truth would stay hidden.  I couldn't allow that."  When asked, "And what if no one believes this truth?"  "Someone already does," is her reply.  Adam greets his love Tilda.  He exchanges terse words with her father after burning Reverend Horrox' contract.  Rey and Javier discuss the recent arrests made in the Schwaneke matter.  Cavendish types and the older Ursula (Sarandon) comes to sit on his lap.  Adam informs Haskell that he and Tilda are becoming abolitionists.  Sonmi~451 is put into permanent retirement.  During his confrontation with Adam, Haskell says, "No matter what you do, it will never amount to anything more than a single drop in a limitless ocean."  Adam responds, "What is an ocean, but a multitude of drops."  Older Zachry finishes telling stories to a bunch of children by the campfire.  He sends the kids off to their grandmother, the older Meronym (Berry).  He exchanges words with a young girl, before he and his wife go off to sleep in their deluxe accommodations and the camera shoots up to the night sky.  Roll Credits.

Movie Spoiler Summary Cloud Atlas
Movie Spoilers Summary Cloud Atlas
Movie Spoiler Cloud Atlas
Movie Spoilers Cloud Atlas
Spoiler Cloud Atlas
Spoilers Cloud Atlas
Cloud Atlas Movie Spoiler
Cloud Atlas Movie Spoilers
Cloud Atlas Movie Spoiler Summary
Cloud Atlas Movie Spoilers Summary
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Cloud Atlas Spoilers

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Movie Spoiler ARBITRAGE (2012) starring Richard Gere - after review

(Pearl) white-collar thriller Arbitrage examines a hedge fund manager conducting his life and business way beyond his already super-luxurious means. As matters continue to escalate out of control, it's harder to express the blanket confidence that has built up who he is and stands as his saving grace, along with a calculating and slippery mind always negotiating his way one foot ahead of the other(s).  Well-edited, the film runs at a brisk clip, with a strong lead performance from the convincing Richard Gere. The recent Argo set in the 1970s had the look of daring, dark films produced in that era like Chinatown and Network, but was more of a crowd-pleaser. Arbitrage, on the other hand, has the slick and lofty look one would expect from 21st-Century penthouse-level Manhattan, but has complicated and enthralling tones one might find from Hollywood's last Golden Era. That isn't to say Nicholas Jarecki's film is at the level of The Godfather or Taxi Driver, but it certainly shoots for the stars in an intelligent way without worry of the likeability factor we as an audience don't get to experience much of these days. While not possessing the most full-proof plot mechanics, the film's real world relevance helps one overlook the movie's more implausible elements.  The film should top out around $8M after its initial run at the box-office. Yes, it's a small number, but not bad for a film that never rose above 300 theaters and competed with very impressive VOD results. But, not surprising either, considering, Gere thrillers used to open wide and grossed anywhere from the $20 - $60M range. My, my, my. The "movie star" really is dying or it's moving to a newer, more compact business model. Kind of like when things like the Nielsen ratings are no longer as important as they used to be, back during a time $8M would have been its opening weekend amount.

Movie Spoiler Summary

During a discussion, wealthy businessman Robert Miller (Richard Gere) talks about the housing bubble. On a private jet, with employee Gavin Briar (an unrecognizable Chris Eigeman) the topic turns to an upcoming deal he's hoping to close. That night, he arrives to a house-full of family and friends to celebrate his birthday, including wife Ellen (Susan Sarandon) and daughter Brooke (Brit Marling). In the study, Brooke has him sign a contract. She's shocked when he expresses a desire to spend more time with his family. He kisses Ellen goodbye and then travels to his mistress Julie Cote (Laetitia Casta), who he also wants to spend more time with, I guess; she gives the married man a cold-shoulder for being late. She's an artist with an upcoming show and he promises to attend without being tardy, before matters move to the more carnal. The next day, he visits Jeffrey Greenberg (Larry Pine) who loaned him money to cover up an investment that went south involving Russian copper mines. Miller begs for more time so he can pass an audit in order to finalize the sale of his company. Chris threatens him. What follows is a nicely directed scene between Miller and Ellen. 

A meeting at a restaurant with his daughter and prospective buyers runs long, when the most important person, James Mayfield (Graydon Carter) fails to show up. On his way out, Brooke pulls him over and brings some accounting oddities to his attention, which he's fully responsible for, but doesn't let on. He arrives late at Julie's show, who has self-medicated herself with a couple of lines of coke. She rejects him and, on his way out, he buys a couple of her paintings and then calls her from her apartment nearby. They argue and he offers her this little nugget: "You want to start a business, you have to project a certain image." He purchased the budding artist's work, citing that initial sales are important to get people thinking that you're desirable. She sulks over his marriage to Ellen, so he decides to take her on a trip. On an isolated road outside of Manhattan, he falls asleep at the wheel and flips the car 360 degrees, crashing it and killing her. He chooses not to dial 9-1-1. With internal injuries of an indeterminate condition, he expresses rage at the turn of events, and then leaves the scene. After he gets some distance from the car, it explodes. He finds a tollbooth and dials Jimmy Grant (Nate Parker), the son of an old acquaintance, to pick him up.  The ambulance and authorities arrive.  Detective Michael Bryer (a nicely subdued Tim Roth) quickly figures out that there was more than one person in the vehicle during the accident.  Jimmy shows up to retrieve him, having told his girlfriend he was just stepping out for a minute.  Miller asks him for an alibi.    Jimmy complains that he hasn't contacted him since his father's funeral and drops him off at his home.  Miller begins the process of tampering with evidence by messing with the surveillance cameras and burning his clothes, all the while in pain.  HIs houseman (Glen Lee) surprises and acknowledges him.  When Ellen wakes up in bed, he lies that he went out for ice cream.  Her response: "Don't forget to take your Lipitor in the morning."  

The next day, he visits his attorney friend Syd Felder (Stuart Margolin) and uses the "third person hypothetical" angle to seek advice.  Syd encourages that the person (Robert) should turn himself in because the "real world is different from television ... there's about fifty things that person would have not thought of and the more time that passes, the more lies that are told."  His associate Chris Vogler (Bruce Altman) shares with him the good news that his business has passed the audit.  Gavin inquires about Julie's show.  News regarding Mayfield is shared.  Brooke presses her father on the books.  Detective Bryer shows up at Miller's office to question him only to find lies.  He pursues Ellen, only to be blown off.  While investigating Julie's apartment, it's clear that Bryer has everything figured out, only lacks a sure-proof way to nail Miller.  Gavin expresses his condolences to Miller concerning Julie.

Detectives find Jimmy in Harlem and take him in for questioning.  Syd gives Miller Earl Monroe's (Reg E. Cathey) info as an expert lawyer who can help Jimmy.  After bailing him out, in Syd's limo, Miller offers Jimmy a $2M trust.  "You think money is going to fix this?"  Confused, Miller replies, "What else is there?"  Chris calls with bad news about the deal.  Brooke calls her brother Peter (Austin Lysy) and further investigates the cooked books.  Accountant Ben (Ted Neustadt) walks in on her snooping.  When he tries to cover for Miller, she fires him prompting him to tell her the truth.  We learn from the detective that Jimmy's father worked as a driver for Miller Capital.  Chris informs Miller the audit didn't actually clear because Mayfield placed a hold.  Detective Bryer speaks with D.A. Deferlito (Felix Solis) about going after Miller and sparing Jimmy, and the D.A. gives him a number to call.  Brooke confronts her father about the fraud, inciting an argument.  "You are not my partner, you work for me," father tells daughter.  "I'm the patriarch, that's my role, and I have to play it."  Detective Bryer tries to turn Jimmy.  Miller tells Syd that Ellen has met with an estate lawyer.  At the grand jury hearing, the D.A. questions Jimmy about a photo the authorities doctored to make their case.  Bryer puts the heat on Jimmy outside the courthouse afterwards.  At Julie's service, Miller comforts her mother Sandrine (Gabrielle Lazure) under false pretenses.  While working out, an unforthcoming Brooke leaves abruptly and Ellen tries to persuade her to look out for herself.  Mayfield meets Miller at a restaurant for final discussions.  Miller plays hardball, seals the deal, and leaves with the cocky attitude that he got everything he wanted (and then some).  He then announces to his employees that the company has been sold.

Jimmy informs Miller that he has 24 hours to take a deal before D.A. files charges.  He ensures him that he never went through the toll booth to pick up Miller like the doctored photo suggested.  After filing a notarized request at a government office to view a photo that had been recently deliberately taken, Monroe discovers the tampering.  In the judge's chambers, Bryer is unable to produce evidence proving otherwise.  Consequently, Judge Rittenband (Tibor Feldman) dismisses the charges against Jimmy.  Bryer breaks it down for the audience, "So, let me get this straight.  What you're telling me is I'm supposed to sit around with my thumb up my ass and fingers crossed hoping that one of these fucking days somewhere down the line, one of these rich assholes is going to say the wrong thing loud enough so that we can't choose to ignore him anymore?"  Judge orders him out of the chambers.  Ellen is uncooperative with Bryer.  Jimmy hands Miller back the trust. At home, Ellen confronts Miller about his affair and the dead mistress.  She blackmails him: turn power of the estate over to Brooke or she will not provide him with an alibi the night of accident.  "The world is cold."  "Then, you're gonna need a warm coat," she tells him.  In Mayfield's limo, John Aimes (Josh Pais) hands him papers concerning Miller's finances before the sale of the company.  At a gala event, Brooke introduces her father, who steps up to a podium to rapturous applause.  Cut to black; Bjork sings over the credits.  

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Review: Snow White and the Huntsman

I love how the poster boasts that this movie is from the
producer of Alice in Wonderland ... like that's a good thing

So, I finally got a chance to see the more successful of the two competing Snow White films from 2012: Snow White and the Hunstman (or Twilight Hester Prynne aka Kristen Stewart and the older, slightly less hunky Hemsworth brother Chris). Their critical marks on aggregates sites like RT and IMDb are pretty similar, but it was this one that clearly bettered Julia Roberts' failed light-hearted venture. In this one, things get bloody and the dwarfs aren't actually little people, but miniaturized versions of highly respected British actors like Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, and Toby Jones. Would this be considered very un-PC "little-person-face"?  (Lamentably, neither film went with the traditional names like Dopey and Sneezy, as we have all come to love.)  This certainly isn't your mother's Snow White or even your unhip gay uncle's Snow White.  This pure-as-driven-snow girl doesn't cook or clean.  To tell you the truth, she doesn't do much of anything, which is especially painful, because she's played by Stewart.  They take the thinly plotted Disney cartoon, reintroduce some of the Grimmer elements (though, sadly, not enough), and update the story Game of Thrones style with quasi-feminist/misogynist overtones: evil queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) murders beautiful Snow White's father for power, banishes the daughter, and then tries to have her killed when she can't handle being the second-fairest of them all (I guess because wearing the kingdom's crown isn't enough, she wants the tiara too; perhaps she would have been happier as an hermaphrodite).  The team of screenwriters (seldom a good sign) add non-existent side stories like some "land of women" baloney, as well as battle scenes; embellish the dark forest and add a fairy sanctuary (to stunning, but pointless effect), which is like Avatar's Pandora, but you don't need to wear those stupid 3D glasses; and more or less beefing up The Huntsman by combining the role with the Prince (Hemsworth Thors it up without any of his superhero's charm)--all in the name of hitting a two-hour running time.  While unnecessarily narrated, the exposition at the beginning is compelling and fun, but then motivations are imposed on characters to work within the restrictive measures of the original tale.  Some of the scenes just don't make sense and belonged on the cutting room floor.  The man-hating, blood-thirsty evil witch here is poorly written, but Theron tries to make sense out of her while literally sucking the life out of young maidens, almost going flat-out Temple of Doom style on a hot guy's heart (whom she forecasts would have probably broke hers in her younger days), and ordering around her inept, towheaded, pageboy brother Finn (Sam Spruell).  And when she's not aiming for Most Hated Queen Ever, she talks to an invisible mirror reflection, which takes the shape of a gilded, cloaked, faceless man (in her mind).  She's quite the narcissist and also a master of disguise (which isn't used to full effect here, like in the original story), but she's also bat-shit crazy.  After about an hour or so, the film ventures off into unbearably negligible worlds.  The best part of first-time director Rupert Sanders' $170M production are the creepy-good visual effects, despite the obvious RED camera-work.  That particular team deserves an Oscar nod for sure.  But, they should put this talk of a sequel to rest, with or without the involvement of accused harlot Stewart.  The original didn't even make its budget back domestically (it was perhaps saved by its worldwide take, and other ancillaries) and, this being Hollywood, there is likely no story left, especially if we're talking about Snow White and The Huntsman, and the generally blandish actors who played them.

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Movie Spoiler ANGEL (1984) - after review

Angel is serio-camp depicting a young private high-school student living in Hollywood on her own, who foots the bills by working the corner.  By day, she is sweet, pig-tailed, straight-A Molly Stewart (Donna Wilkes) and, by night, she's the tough and street-smart X-rated "Angel."  She surrounds herself with life's castoffs including fellow prostitutes, cowboy entertainer Kit Carson (Rory Calhoun) who fancies himself as some kind of Sam Elliott knock-off, and drag-queen Mae (Dick Shawn) who gets all the good lines while doing his worst Jack Lemmon impression from Some Like It Hot ever.  There's a serial killer loose on Sunset Boulevard who is cutting up hookers left and right.  Not only does Molly have to contend with getting sliced up as an occupational hazard, but she's further burdened by hiding her secret life from her less forgiving peers.  If the authorities were having such a problem finding their man, they should have just dressed up those secondary-school bitches Molly has to deal with as whores and put them on the case.  One of them would have been bound to stumble upon him by playing the odds and used her self-entitled, belittling, judgmental tongue to reduce the weak-willed, anger-addled, small-dicked murderer to his knees.  Instead, we get Cliff Gorman who plays the lieutenant hell bent on finding The Killer (John Diehl), a fagtastic, self-loathing mess of an early-80s gay stereotype straight out of Cruising.  He has sexual issues AND he's a necrophiliac (The Killer, not the lieutenant)!  If they ever remake this movie, I hope they use Lindsay Lohan as Molly/Angel.  She's still young enough in years.  In fact, the older, she is, the better for the movie.  Perhaps the Lifetime Channel ("Your life, your time"), who has openly embraced her recently with the impending crapfest Liz Taylor biopic, can make that happen.  STAT!  While she's still on this planet breathing coke-infused air.

Movie Spoiler Summary
Angel starts out with a pan of early 1980s Hollywood in all of its trashy glory.  The Old and New Golden Ages of Hollywood are dead and the New Commercial Hollywood hasn't quite taken hold.  Superimposed on the screen are TV-movie-quality credits. Sweet little Molly ‘Angel’ Stewart (Donna Wilkes) in pigtails chews candy as she makes her way to the school bus stop, as workers actually scrub the stars of the Hollywood Walk of Fame a little after dawn.  

Look Ma, no crack

On the bus, schoolmates in feathered hair laugh and share secrets as they make their way to the private North Oaks Prep school somewhere off west of West Hollywood (?) maybe.  In class, the teacher assigns the students to read the first act of King Lear.  Afterwards, nerdy curly blond Wayne (Dennis Kort) asks Molly on a date.  She shoots him down with her sweet and innocent look, but we then find out that Molly is no "Angel," but someone who also goes by the name of Angel.  She takes down her pigtails and whores it up in front of her vanity mirror. 

While “Something Sweet” by The Allies plays over the soundtrack for the first of many, many times during the film, Molly hits the streets that night.  There is al kinds of zaniness, including a guy on a huge bike, Hare Krishna’s, fire-eaters, and proselytizers.  Cops are out arresting crooks.  Some guy traveling in the back of a truck mumbles something to Molly, whom he refers to as “sweet tits.”  When she rebuffs him, his pride is wounded and he starts acting like even more of a asshole.  Another guy offers her $20, who apparently thinks it’s a lot of money.  Maybe for a peck on the cheek, but Molly has bigger fish to fry.  Some guy, Kit Carson (Rory Calhoun) who thinks he’s Sam Elliott cons the police.  Molly picks up another to bum a ride, before calling him a pervert and then a cop.  Molly has a transvestite friend Mae (Dick Shawn channeling Jack Lemmon in Some Like It Hot) who comes to save her with the line, “Why don’t you go home now and spank your monkey, numb-nuts?”  Mae is a freak show, but she does take Molly out for ice cream.  Lt. Andrews (Cliff Gorman) bumps into Officer Collins (Mel Carter) and they discuss the "Hooper" serial killer running loose.  “Nothing stops the action," Andrews says, “If a tidal wave hit this street, the hookers would bob up like a bunch of corks,” all while eating an ice cream cone.  Andrews has the killer's profile down: single-parent-raised, sexually abused, necrophiliac, probably bisexual, possibly impotent.  Mae walks by with Molly and razzes Andrews.  In the killer’s lair, the Killer, simply known as The Killer (John Diehl) does sit-ups old school style on an elevated wooden board.  The work has paid off.  His body is pretty sick.  But, the character Diehl plays is cuckoo for Coco Puffs.  

At a diner, Mae, and some other working girls listen to Molly tell tall tales.  An easily irritable Italian restaurateur throws a conniption over a bum in his establishment.  While discussing the serial murder, Crystal (Donna McDaniel) one of the more astute whores offers this sage observation: “Why should the John’s be scared, it’s the hookers who are getting killed?”  Mae makes fun of the blonde in their company who wants to escape Hollywood for Tahiti, where “the men use their dicks for oars.”  The blonde takes her remarks personally, on the behalf of the recently deceased Fay and Cherry, and lays into her.  Mae, always quick with the comebacks, retorts in an homage to her namesake, “Did you ever hear anybody whistle in the graveyard?”  They leave the Roosevelt Hotel. 

Crystal bumps into Yoyo Charlie (Steven M. Porter), a man dressed up as a creepy version of Charlie Chaplin, while he entertains passerby’s.  He’s not too stealthy about hiding his attraction to her.  Yoyo endears Crystal to him by giving her a toy top as a present (which will be important in the near future).  Crystal walks off and starts work.  The Killer hits on her and they walk towards her demise.  She’s an astrologist during the daytime, and, if she were any good, she would have seen this coming.  No wonder she makes her main paycheck from whoring.  Before they enter the hotel, he pulls her aside at knifepoint and starts stabbing her. I guess this is the premature ejaculating version of cutting someone up: he just couldn't wait!  

Molly surprises Kit from behind and Mae looks drunk and a little confused by the presence of the youngsters he’s entertaining with gun tricks.  It turns out that Kit knew Molly’s “pappy” from way back.  In his room, The Killer tucks the freshly killed and decomposing Crystal into bed.  In their apartment building, the loud and crazy painter-landlady Solly Mosler (Susan Tyrrell) welcomes the arrival of Molly and Mae.  Because Solly imagines herself as a hot young prostitute, she has purchased a gun to protect herself.  “This psycho killer shows up and I’ll blow his fucking head off.”  Molly goes to bed and Mae warns lesbian Solly that she better not go anywhere near Molly and to get rid of her gun, “Why don’t you take that thing out of your pants, before you blow your balls off … all eight of them.”  In her room, Molly reminisces over memories of her father. 

Sunrise the next day, Solly rings.  Molly places her painting back on the wall, so her feelings won’t be hurt that she sucks as an artist.  Solly came to collect the rent while Molly tends to her “mother” Norman-bates style.  My bet is they share the same mom.  The Killer starts cracking open an egg from the top and sucks out its contents while staring at a picture of him and his mother from his youth, inscribed “To Billy Bay, my lovely …”  (Perhaps his negligent mother was a failed actress?)  He ends up consuming the whole egg, shoving the whole shell into his mouth, because gym-nuts can never get enough protein. 

Speaking of muscle heads, at school, jock idiot Ric Sawyer (David Underwood) hits on Molly and he strikes out.  She then visits the school counselor Patricia Allen (Elaine Giftos), who inquires why she isn’t more social.  Patricia may seem by the book, but, as you'll learn later, she means business.  Molly shares that she takes care of her mother, who has suffered from a stroke.  Andrews conducts an investigation with a crime scene unit into Crystal’s death.  Yoyo is there broken down in tears.  Not too bright, he’s holding the top he gave her, which is covered in her blood.  Mae shares the bad news with Molly.  Kit and local residents are up in arms.  Kit is piping mad, but he remembers his manners.  Andrews advice to everyone (but more specifically the prostitutes) with the BEST LINE EVER: “WORK IN PAIRS if you can and, for Christ sake’s, STICK TO REGULARS.”  He hands out his phone number to the girls.  Molly discusses future plans with Lana, “Tahiti in December?”  “Bitchin’!”  Lana notices The Killer waiting against a post, “I think I see our down payment; I’ll see you later.”  Off his game, Molly catches what the man looks like.

At the hotel where she’s studying, a crass, aggressive john wants her to be less Molly and more Angel.  She takes him to the hotel room she shares with Lana.  He’s rude to her and she’s about to walk off when he shoves a wad of cash in her brassiere, “You better be fourteen, baby, or I’m going to throw you back for being too old.”  (WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?)  The john discovers Lana’s dead body in the bathroom and his weak stomach sends him reeling.  (He's all talk, I guess.)  Molly investigates and breaks down in tears upon her discovery.  Back at his place, The Killer scrubs down his rather fine body in some kind of atonement ritual, because he's covered in the cooties of a dead woman he has just killed and screwed or something like that.  At the precinct, Andrews tries to draw information out of Molly, but only elicits more tears.  The conversation turns to Molly's life and Andrews schools her, “You know what happens to used-up whores?  They don’t go to Leisure World, baby.  They end up on hard shit or booze and spend half their time in the slammer and that’s just where you’re headed.  You’re living in a dream world, baby.  What you need is a good swift kick in the butt.”  Molly isn’t too crazy about her line of work, especially the fat old slobs she has to have sex with, which, ironically, is what she has to look forward to at Leisure World. 

Off to see the wizard?

A guy sings “Let It Shine” on the street corner, while Kit puts on his Sam Elliott act.  Molly breaks the news of Lana’s death to that cold bitch Mae, who is as dry-eyed as they come and already in the know.  Kit pulls a gun on the executor of his estate, who wants to put him in Leisure World [what is the writer's obsession with LEISURE WORLD??? and why can't he pick a side either pro or con?], where non-whores are put out to pasture.  Mae scares the executor off by licking his face.  Kit laments all of his dead friends.  Always quick with the one-liners, when Molly says she’s on her way to the morgue to see Lana, Mae says they must hurry before “she ends up in the tomb for the Unknown Hooker.”  Andrews has a difficult time informing the motley crew that they can’t claim Lana’s body until the murder investigation is finished or some shit like that.  On her way out, Mae gets a whip-sound-effect to complement the flipping of her scarf in Kit’s face.  As finding The Killer can wait, Andrews follows Molly’s school bus.  Between classes, Ric tries to tempt Molly with the mystery behind his nickname of “Razzel Dazzle.” What the fuck?  So, he's got sexual-boundary issues and he loves musicals ... hmmn.  

The ladies line up nude

In the girl’s locker-room, there’s a gratuitous shot of the women changing, negligible to the plot, because, well, what else do you expect from this film?  For the gays, the next scene is of The Killer furiously working out, but the camera doesn’t show nearly enough. 

The guys don't

In a porn theater, the owner gives The Killer the business on etiquette, “Hey, scum bag.  Get your dirty boots off the seat, this ain’t your fucking office.”  He complies, revealing spurs or something unnecessarily ornate on his footwear.  On the streets of Hollywood, “Something Sweet” plays again over the soundtrack.  The cops take The Killer in for an ID lineup for a crime presumably greater than putting one’s boots on the back of a theater seat.  Molly picks the guy who is totally the cutest, but isn’t sure if he’s The Killer (he's not, but look at those arms).

Molly excitedly ID’s The Killer on his way out, but the microphone catches her voice, prompting him to grab the gun out of donut-belly-officer’s holster.  He escapes Jame Gumb-style.  Andrews drives Molly home, but has a cigarette and tells her a story before she leaves the car.  In her apartment, he grills her about her private life.  Despite Molly throwing the fourth amendment in his face, he discovers (big surprise) that her mother’s room is mostly empty with her mom nowhere to be found.  He turns to Molly about the life she chose for herself and she teaches me my mistake for not watching this movie for vocational advice when I was growing up, “It was easy.  I just put on some sexy clothes and high heels, and went out and made a living.”

Where's Tony Curtis when you need him?

At The Killer’s apartment, he stares at his reflection while administering a haircut, because that’s what crazy serial killers do when they spent all their money on chlorofoam and didn’t save enough for Supercuts.  He’s actually attempting to conceal his identity, because the different hairstyle is sure to throw Molly and the cops.  At a restaurant across from the Holiday Inn, Molly reveals to Mae that she bought a lipstick-sized gun for protection.  She then visits her local Catholic Church to make an offering.  Kit teaches her how to shoot by first making imaginary guns out of his hands.  It turns out, with a real one, he’s a good shot and could teach Sam Elliott a thing or two.

Hollywood at night, “Something Street” plays YET again, as Molly hits the street.  Ric spots Molly while driving down Hollywood Boulevard with friends.  Parking in an alley, Molly tells them, “Look Ric, you had your fun.  Now, please let me go.”  But, one of his friends wants to see her “whisker biscuit.”  They decide to gang-rape her and she insists on them using condoms.  Ric isn’t too keen on the idea, but one of this friends chimes in with some logic, “Hey, Ric, maybe we should.  No telling what we might catch from this slut.”  Molly becomes my hero when she points a gun at whisker biscuit-eater’s temple and demands, “Okay, you bastards, now get out of the car.  GET OUT OF THE GOD-DAMN CAR.”  She fires a shot through the window to show she means business.  Pulling the gun on them after they escape the car, she notices Ric has soiled himself.  “Hey, look me up again, Ric, when you’re toilet-trained” (meaning never).

In the girl’s locker room, the word has hit that Molly is Angel the whore.  Ric rats on Molly to all the students, after threatening to gang-rape her (what an ass), and goes one further and gets counselor Allen to search her locker (it’s that easy?).  She finds her gun.  Wayne tries paying her for sex, sending her to tears, because this country is great, but not great enough, that you can’t make good grades and a living without people talking smack behind your back. 

She visits Andrews, who warned her early on that one day she would have to pay for her profession.  He listens to her talk more about her father coming back, though she finally believes that ship has sailed.  He feeds her some sage advice about deadbeat dads.  Mae insults Solly while playing cribbage, “What have you done to your hair?  It looks like an orangutan has been sitting on your face all night.”  She has nothing, so, Mae goes in for another one when Solly blows smoke from her cigar. “Listen kumquat, I don’t mind the smoke, but your breath is behind it.  Don’t you ever inhale?”  She pulls a fast move, and Mae has a conniption.  Solly: “How fucking dare you, you cunt?  I don’t have to cheat to beat the likes of you.”  “When I was a kid, my father warned me, he said, 'Rachel, don’t ever play cards with a Jewish dyke.  They cheat.'”  “Ah, eat my puff, will you?” Solly says with her train-wreck of a painted-on mono-brow and a shirt from Coos Bay Yacht Club (seriously, I'm not making this stuff up).  Counselor Allen comes looking for Molly’s mother, expecting Solly to obligingly cough up her the key to Molly’s apartment so she can see if the invalid mother is real or not.  When her sweet face doesn’t work, she grabs Molly by the lapel (who can’t seem to get anything right) and threatens her, “Listen, fuck face.  I used to work for the city health department and you got so many violations in this flea trap, that one phone call downtown will put your ass in court so fast that you won’t have time to wipe it let alone pull your pants up.  Do you get my drift?  Now, you give me the God-damn key.”  Solly acquiesces and checks out Allen on her way out. Not too bright that one (can't cut a break, either).  

Those eyebrows didn't paint themselves

At Molly’s, she finds Mae, who has whisked herself out of Solly's without Patricia seeing her apparently to  play the role of Molly’s invalid mother.  Considering the brand of whoop-ass Patricia has just shown to be capable of, it’s no surprise that she doesn’t buy Mae’s Jack-Lemmon-drag-act one bit (who does?).  The Killer marches with the Hare Krishnas down Franklin or somewhere in Hollywood.  There’s a kaput car parked on the grass, so you know the Boulevard of Broken Dreams can’t be too far.  He then rather conspicuously breaks off, interrupting a cop’s burger lunch.  The cop follows him to Molly’s apartment.  Patricia and Mae part ways, but not before that cunt Patricia insists on knowing that mess of a drag show’s “real” name and then asking about her dress.  As Patricia leaves, the camera turns to the cop’s dead body, care of The Hare Krishna-convert Killer.  Mae greets The Killer at the door with an insult about his bald head.  Worrying that The Killer actually thinks he’s a female prostitute and not trying to track down Molly, Mae begins to strip down to Marvin "Rachel" Walker.  The Killer must have been steeping his brain in stupid tea after he cut his hair, because he looks more clueless than hot at this point.  Mae gets the first punch in by plugging The Killer’s ears with his falsies and kneeing him in the groin.  While Mae shows to be a worthy adversary in the fight which commences with the bodybuilder, her material gets stale, as she makes another breath joke only moments after insulting Solly, and, then, goes all Bruce-Willis-Hollywood with the bland, “Don’t fuck with me, bitch.” 

Mae gets knocked over by paranormal activity ...
Guess they didn't get the shot they wanted

My favorite shot by far, though, is the one of Mae being pushed by thin air into a table. 

Sadly, Mae meets her maker on Molly’s bed, surrounded by lavender walls. With the canopy sheet having fallen atop the two wrestlers, we start to see blood, and it’s not Mae’s menstrual cycle.  Solly runs in too late to save him, but manages to absorb an insult, one final time, as his last words are, “Just my luck, the last thing I’m going to see in this world is your ugly face.”  Molly arrives with Andrews, who finds the cop’s body.  He reports the deaths from Molly’s room.

Molly, pissed off that her drag mom went up to the big cabaret in the sky goes rogue with presumably Andrew’s pistol (because hers was confiscated from her locker thanks to that nark rapist-wannabe prick Ric).  Andrews asks for Kit to help him track down Molly.  The Killer, incognito again with the Hare Krishna’s, stalks Molly.  Yoyo sees him with the knife and warns Molly.  The Killer grabs a hot piece of American-Hero-look-alike-man-candy and shoves him into Molly and takes off.  He escapes on the back of a passing El Camino (and there just aren’t enough of those), but the pissed-off owner quickly tosses him out (don't tread on him!).  Molly begins firing every which way but at The Killer (she could have used another day with Kit).  A chase commences.  Kit rides bitch on a biker’s motorcycle.  Molly continues to try to land a shot with a gun that is almost as big as she is.  The Killer shoots Kit and overpowers Molly, taking her gun to shoot at her and Andrews.  But, good old Kit saves the day.   The Killer’s last words: “It hurts.”  Cut to the threesome walking down the alley leaving The Killer’s corpse leaning against the alley wall.  Roll credits over, of course, “Something Sweet.”  The End.

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