Fatal Attraction was landmark horror-thriller that dealt with marital infidelity involving a publishing lawyer and book editor. The R-rated movie earned its scarlet letter mostly from sexually explicit scenes between Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, that were especially controversial during the height of the AIDS crisis. Despite the graphic nature, the film went on to be one of the highest grossing R-rated films in history, earning six AMPAS nominations (the unrecognized Douglas was nominated and won for Wall Street that same year) including Best Picture. As, well, stars Douglas and Close went on to land the cover of Time. Close gave a balls-out-amazing performance--the kind that win awards. However, the elderly straight white male demographic might have found her bat-shit crazy sexy villainess too intimidating and voted for Cher instead. Her role didn't go over well either with some feminists, as the movie itself suggests women have to choose between career and family.
1. Opening Credits
The film opens with a tracking shot of the New York City. At the time, I pretended it was Seattle, so I could imagine that I lived so close to the center of the universe.
Sherry Lansing produced, who was notable for being one of the first female studio presidents. Additionally, she was inexplicably known for being pro-life, a rarity in Hollywood. I suppose that pissed feminists off too.
There was minor controversy over the film’s title, because it copied a movie from 1980.
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| Moose's arch rival Lisa must have had something to do with this. |
2. Family Affair
We first see the child of married couple Dan (Michael Douglas) and Beth Gallagher (Anne Archer) watching TV. I could immediately identify with little Ellen (Ellen Hamilton Latzen), as she was totally androgynous (Shiloh Jolie-Pitt of her time) and was watching Christine aka “Moose” get slimed on Nickelodeon’s You Can’t Do That on Television (a favorite of mine as a kid). As the couple gets ready for a book publishing party, Ellen manages to smear lipstick all over her face, as well as practice a curse word.
Her babysitter shows up, played by theatrical actress Jane Krakowski a good decade before Ally McBeal. Her voice sounds like a teenager, because she was one at the time. It was her second film after another classic from the 1980’s, Vacation. Her third film would star Liza Minnelli. She had a good agent, that one. She looks like a blonde Carol Kane in this movie. She gives Ellen a present, but the little girl isn’t that impressed.
At the shindig, the couple mingle with their friends Jimmy (Stuart Pankin) and Hildy (Ellen Foley, who looks like a blonde Minnelli), as well as work associate Bob Drimmer (Mike Nussbaum). Sushi is one the menu. The guys make fun of Japanese culture, which was big in the US circa 1980s.
Jimmy checks out a woman--Alex Forrest (Glenn Close)--and she’s not having any of it. Pankin was a jarring casting choice for someone well-tuned in pop culture of the mid-80s, as he was the lead newscaster for HBO comedy show Not Necessarily the News. It’s always strange to watch someone known for clowning around to all of a sudden be in serious fare. He plays a tool, though, so it kind of works.
Forrest is dressed in a shimmering black-gold dress with deep eye shadow and her long blond curls set away from her face. She shoots Jimmy the look of death and shortly thereafter moves in on someone more her type, the less forward and more handsome Dan. She finds him affable and charming. She’s an editor at Robbins & Hart. He handles legal matters at Miller Goodman Hurst.
And, like any well-tuned wife regardless of how unassuming she may appear on the outside, Beth's radar goes off, she spots her husband, and signals him it’s time to leave. He tries to mask how perturbed he is at having to bid such hot snatch adieu and leaves Alex to ruminate over either “how the good guys are all taken or gay” or, more likely, how many different ways she’s going to fuck him until Tuesday after she tracks down his personal information and stalks him.
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| Not tonight, honey. You're going to have to blue-ball it. |
At home, all hot and bothered, Dan is ready to roll in the hay, but he must first attend to the potty needs of their golden retriever Quincy (also the name of a popular television doctor character in the 1970s) who is much too big to have his own indoor piddle pad. Dan walks back into the bedroom with a swagger ready to be rewarded and cash in his primal urges, when he sees that little rebel-rouser Ellen is having nightmares and is going to sleep with them “just for tonight honey.” Sexual gratification deferred.
So, mommy and child take a trip out of town to check out new homes without daddy, as he had a mandatory meeting to attend. He sends her off with a very subtle look of fuck you for leaving me with a huge erection and ventures to work at 10 East 53, where the name of Forrest’s firm looks like it was stenciled guerrilla-style with spray paint next to the entrance of the building. It just so happens that Alex will be in attendance by chance due to one Henry’s absence. We never meet Henry, so we can assume when she used the excuse of getting a file for being late, that she was really busy slicing him up and stuffing him in a Chinese meat locker, which I’m sure is time-consuming, especially when hair and makeup don’t do themselves. Dan makes a crack about Bob’s neck.
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| If you're horny and you know it, touch your nose |
They discuss a book their house wants to publish that deals with a philandering type who a real-life congressperson insists is based on him and has filed an injunction against its publication. As the lawyer, Dan needs to know if the story is based on any truth (I could have sworn a TV show taught me that lawyers don’t want to know the truth if you’re guilty, but anyway …). As the author’s editor, Alex fesses up and basically says that the injunction has no basis, because the writer is a whore and has slept with an assortment of politicians--the character could have been based on just about anyone on Capital Hill. Dan and Alex have a meet-cute moment across the room from each other when she indicates that he got some crème cheese on his nose while eating his bagel. (Alex probably made sure of the limited breakfast cuisine, as donuts would have never provided her such an opportunity.)
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| You have no idea what you're getting into, do you? |
3. Are You Discreet?
After getting off the phone with Mother Nature to discuss the weather, she finds Dan in the street struggling with a shitty Taiwanese umbrella in the rain. She must have also paid off a lot of cabbies to pass them by, because she’s white, sexy and a female, and none of them stop for her. She breaks the first physical barrier by grabbing his hand and running to the bar with him when he suggests drinks. Over red wine, he shares a humorous (to them) personal anecdote about his parent’s divorce. She lights up, because it’s New York and it’s not the 21stcentury, yet, and you can smoke in restaurants. With her cigarette dangling between her fingers, she turns the subject to discretion. She knows he’s horny and plays him like she’s interested in something on the down-low (a trick she learned from past experience of not showing her desperation too early in the game). She references a phone call we never saw her make about standing up her date for Dan to boost his ego, as well as play down her neediness. We all know that phone-call she made was Alex canceling her appointment with her psychiatrist and informing him/her that she's better now and going off her meds. He plays coy and puts all of the responsibility of the affair on her (like the movie’s reshot ending does). She continues to play her hand smoothly and seduces him to the point where he can barely spit out his request for the check.
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| The dishes are going to have to wait. |
4. One Night Stand
They get down to business in her apartment and screw in the kitchen sink without taking off too many articles of clothing. She sits on some dishes that look like all they needed was rinsing and now will definitely have to be washed. But, she’s kind of freaky, so she would probably get some perverse thrill out of eating off plates with her ass-print. She could reminisce about sex with Dan during one of her many meals alone. She cools them off with some water and he slobbers over one of her tits. He does this comical bit mid-fuck where he moves their activities over to the bedroom area of her studio apartment while he tries to remove his pants with his feet. I imagine Beth wouldn't be laughing.
We get some unintentional foreshadowing with the percolating tea kettle that fits in nicely with the reshot ending. They take a post-coital breather before going salsa dancing. They walk through the meat-packing district to her apartment. He’s ready to leave, but, like the Aerosmith song that would come out a few years later, she wants to have love in an elevator.
And not just any kind of lift, but one that’s old, huge and exposed, save the wrought-iron gate around its parameters.
The elevator is shot to look really cool, but it looks like it’s a piece of shit.
She stops the elevator and blows him as a gentleman walks by.
At the entrance of her apartment the look on his face suggests he has no desire to catch a cab home. But after three or so rounds, he’s finally fucked himself dry.
Poor Quentin, the family dog, who has been left home alone through the night is rewarded for his faithfulness and sorrows by Dan opening up the door right into him. He rhetorically asks him how he’s doing knowing full well that even if Quentin could talk and dial the phone, he suffers from Stockholm Syndrome and wouldn’t ever dare consider calling the Humane Society on Dan. However, it wouldn’t be beneath Quentin to blackmail him for some Milk Bones over his owner’s dirty little secret.
Back when cell phones weren’t a reality, Dan listens to a message from another faithful member of his troop: his wife. He calls her at his in-law's New England home and she shares that their little handful wants a rabbit (will become important later). Dan, who has just thumbed his nose at the sanctity of his marital vows, reacts caustically to the idea that somehow wanting a bunny ranks lower on the totem pole of humanity than cheating on your wife. The self-entitled husband and father then makes a crack about how their home is becoming Noah’s Ark, which is a direct dig at faithful Quentin, resting right beneath his feet. (At this point, the Golden Retriever is thinking about adding Snausages to his list of demands).
Beth informs him that their return will be delayed and makes an off-handed remark about the importance of kindergarten, which probably wouldn’t fly today amongst most upwardly mobile New York City parents. Dan considers a revisit to Alex' place. "
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She insists on prolonging their affair and manages to convince him and they end up in the park with Quentin in tow, who is giddy at not only the prospect of getting out of that cramped fucking apartment, but all the new dish he’ll be able to nail Dan with when it’s time to pay up. They run around and Alex releases that bat-shit crazy laugh of hers that hints at the Hell he has entered when he popped her vagina without even realizing it. Glenn Close shows off the baseball skills she learned on The Natural and Dan fakes collapsing scaring Alex. She gets back at him by sharing her father died of a heart attack when she was seven years old and then laughs saying she made it up. This is the moment he realizes that their sense of humors might be a little mismatched.
At her apartment, she plays Madame Butterfly while cooking spaghetti. He reminisces about his limited relationship with his father, while she thinks about how grandiose her suicide will be if he never leaves his wife. They dine while she grills him for personal information. He tells her twice that they can never be together because he’s married. When she responds, “just my luck,” she means that she’s annoyed he’s putting her through the whole trouble of bunny boiling, sabotage and kidnapping. We get another shot of Douglas in only a dress shirt grazing his ass cheeks as he explains to her that, no, this time I’m really serious when I wrote what I did in that note I left you. She’s convinced that he doesn’t understand his own definition of “friend” and goes bananas.
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| Meryl, Sigourney, and Jessica, eat your hearts out |
“You run away after every time we make love,” she says like they’ve been carrying on an affair for years.
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| That foot is bi-polar; one second she's caressing you with it and the next moment she's karate kicking you the Hell out of her room. |
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| Get ready for a surprise |
Pressed for time, at home, Dan messes up the bed sheets (because God forbid a man would ever do the laundry and/or make bed) and feeds Quentin Alex’s leftovers. At the office, he orders around his frumpy middle-aged secretary Martha (Lois Smith, who has been acting since the 1950’s--Suki’s grandmother in True Blood, Dr. Hineman in Minority Report, various daytime soap operas—looks like she could deliver her own brand of crazy), but she ain’t gonna do shit for him until he tells her “good morning.” Way to stand your ground Martha!
At home, little Ellen greets him and prattles on about a rabbit. Mommy and Daddy kiss, so she skedaddles.
Ellen plays amateur magician during dinner-time and goes on about rabbits again.
The next weekend, they check out the new house together. The real estate agent (Justine Johnston) insists that it’s a great area for kids, but doesn’t mention anything about rabbits. They check out the attic.
Back in the city, Beth drops her husband off at work. At his office, he finds Alex waiting for him. They walk by Jimmy, but this time, Alex doesn’t shoot him nearly as deadly of a look (but she does brush him off).
She acts all level-headed and apologizes to Dan for her behavior. She casually offers him two tickets to Madame Butterfly, but he turns her down.
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| Are you sure you want to be left alone with that crazy bitch? |
In the next scene, Fred Munster, I mean, Arthur (Fred Gwynne) discusses a legal case with Dan. The subject turns to the relocation from trendy city types to suburban life, as Dan cannot handle how fast and needy single ladies are these days. When he finds Alex pestering Martha over the phone, he starts to lose his cool.
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| Anne Archer or her body-double Tracy Keehn-Dashnaw? |
8. You Play Fair, I’ll Play Fair
The phone rings again at 2:13 AM while they sleep. Dan pretends it’s “Richard” and does a pretty swell job covering, but it’s Alex. He agrees to meet her the next day so Alex can try to explain her needs to him in a different way and he can tell her she’s crazy.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Dan. I love you.” And then she lets him know that she did see a doctor, but it wasn’t a shrink. It was her gynecologist. She’s preggers (or so she says). Like a man who doesn’t like to take responsibility, he wonders out loud why she wouldn’t think to take birth control, because condoms ruin his sexual pleasure. He throws the slut card at her, but she shoots him down with her mental obsession being purely monogamous. He then throws his arm around her and plays the abortion card. He’s actually stupid enough to believe that if she really was pregnant, her derangement would allow her to destroy the little Dan growing inside of her. When she refuses, he actually is surprised that she won’t follow his simple demand (that he could have prevented with a condom). He calls her out on her shit, but she’s able to continue the bluff, because he’s not exactly a rocket scientist.
9. Breaking and Entering
The scene ends ambiguously and cut to the happy family at home that night.
The next day, he breaks into her apartment after watching her leave. He finds an EPT plus test kit to remind him of his situation. He finds her father’s obituary. Not really sure what he was looking for.
He confesses everything to Jimmy who listens intently and ponders the bullet he dodged when she shot him that look of death at the beginning of the movie. Dan confirms her pregnancy. It all circles around to “family law,” a field which Dan refused to go into per earlier in the film, which is why he’s seeking Jimmy’s help. “It ain’t good,” Jimmy shares about his prospects.
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| A healthy diet and exercise are not going to make me sane |
Walking home, a dazed Dan almost gets run over on a not so busy street. He’s greeted with overhearing Beth talking to Alex. They’re having a delightful tea. They shake hands and she reminds him of the first time they met. Beth has already shared with her that they’re moving. Alex has passed herself off as a pregnant woman looking to move into their apartment. Beth gives her their new unlisted number. After Alex leaves, Beth offhandedly makes a remark about her relationship status.
Dan and Beth move into their new home. The phone rings. Dan worries it might be Alex and insists on answering it. It’s Martha! Beth’s father—no dummy—can smell something’s up. While Beth is busy preparing the new home and enduring a problem with the plumber, Dan informs her that he’s relenting to Ellen’s desire to create “Noah’s Ark.”
At the parking garage, Dan discovers his car has been vandalized, as Alex relishes the moment from afar.
The vehicle looks like the bitch from Alienstried to impregnate it. You’d think Ripley would show her face, but she has bigger problems than defending an upper-class Caucasian philanderer.
Over the phone, he lies to his wife about the origins of the damage.
The vehicle looks like the bitch from Alienstried to impregnate it. You’d think Ripley would show her face, but she has bigger problems than defending an upper-class Caucasian philanderer.
Over the phone, he lies to his wife about the origins of the damage.
Thanks to Avis car rentals, he cuts off a couple of pedestrians on his way home. He discovers a tape aptly entitled “PLAY ME – Alex.” How she was able to slip it into his rental is beyond me, but in her years of fostering her psychotic nature, she also must have read up on the art of moving like a ghost. But, then, if that were the case, what was the point of damaging his car? But, she’s full of so many kinks, why question her on this matter. She follows him all the way to his new abode, without him realizing it. Though, if she had managed to leave a cassette tape … in the car he just rented … I imagine that a normally intelligent person might consider that their stalker is nearby and just *might* be following them. Anyway, Alex has good reason to assume that since his brain is in his cock, she would have no problem getting him to inadvertently reveal his home address.
Even though Alex has already gone off on the deep-end, she tops herself. “You know what you are, Dan? You’re cock-sucking son-of-bitch. I hate you. I bet you don’t even like girls, do you? Hah! [You] flaming, fucking faggot.” Now, even if he was gay (or bisexual at the most, as his behaviors indicated), I would have him been pegged as a butch, corporate type. As someone who lives in a trendy area and listens to Madame Butterfly, I would have thought she could tell the difference. But, then, she hates herself, so it makes sense for her to feminize the insults she directs against him.
Alex runs to the side of the house to look for the stove, but first takes a gander at the happy family to help her bring up that day’s meal, because she was tired of using her finger to induce her bulimia.
He goes upstairs to finish the tape where his wife startles him.
The next day, he visits his local precinct to report a problem “his friend” is having with a woman. He plays his skin color and tax bracket as some sort of self-entitlement by showing up, but it doesn’t work.
Leaving the bunny to fend for herself at home, the happy family visits the in-laws, where Beth has Ellen dressed up in an awful outfit and recite a marriage proposal for a play or some shit.
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| Can I stay here instead of go home with that asshole Dan? |
Later, Beth comforts Ellen.
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| Anne Archer's Oscar moment |
It rains and we learn that it takes a boiled bunny for a man to admit his infidelities. The scene gives Archer the Oscar nomination. She has a melt-down after she realizes her husband has gotten the blonde pregnant while Ellen watches comforting her stuffed bunny (not the one that just died, because there wasn’t a taxidermist available, but a toy one). Dan calls Alex, who has been waiting by the phone next to her exercise bike. She gets a surprise when Beth gets on the line and threatens to one-up her on the crazy scale and mop the floor with her frizzy haircut.
Dan calls the family from a hotel room while they play Moonlight Sonata.
Beth drives to school to pick Ellen up, but crafty Alex had slapped on a brunette wig and sprayed on some self-tanner and beat her to the punch. In some of the best kid acting, little Alicia pops her head up while tying her shoelaces and casually informs Beth, “She’s gone.”
With a little noirish homage, we watch Dan sneak into Alex’s apartment. After running after her, he catches her and starts to strangle her to death. He stops, because either he thinks she can suddenly be reasoned with or he figures she’s not worth going to jail for. She splashes some cold water on her face in the same sink she used to cool off that one night they had sex. Since Alex doesn’t care where she’s going, she tries to stab him dead with a butcher knife.
He stops her and in a pivotal moment that the film’s new ending renders insignificant, we watch him very carefully set the weapon down on the counter.
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| The shot that bears no relevance thanks to test screening audiences |
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| So, no makeup sex? |
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| You'll be back, even if I have to follow you home |
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| Oh, God, what has my husband done NOW? |
Dan rakes leaves in the backyard while the family watches on. The police arrive investigating Alex’s homicide. He has a flashback to the previous night and realizes that he left his fingerprints on the knife Alex committed suicide with. Beth runs along holding the police car as her and Dan mouth “I love you” back and fourth to each other.
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| I've been waiting to cut all of this kinky hair off the entire movie |
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| Oh, shit, what if we have to reshoot the ending? |
*****Reshot Ending*****
16. Bath Time
He puts Ellen to bed.
The beleaguered Beth prepares her bath upstairs, as Dan talks on the phone. We see that the happy family has now cashed in on their second amendment rights. Dan is now a little more smug, because crazy Alex has united husband and wife. ”Just holler if you need anything else, alright.” She asks for a cup of tea, so when the kettle ends up whistling and masking her screams, it’s partly her fault. He locks the backdoor thinking he’s keeping them safe, but that ghost Alex is already in the house with a butcher knife.
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| This bathroom doesn't have enough white |
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| Dan choked me yesterday; how much does he love you? |
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| If my fucking owner Dan would only just fill my God-damn water dish for once |
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| Contractually obligated to pretend I'm in character |
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| Beth the cuckold cleaning up after her husband |
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| Well, this is as happy of an ending as you're going to get |
He walks inside their home and Beth embraces him. They leave the foray and the camera zooms in on a picture of the happy couple with their gender-ambiguous six year old. Roll credits.
