Joey Lawrence in Old Navy Commercial ... Whoa!

I've been working on my computer watching the Dancing with the "Stars" (quotations necessary, though not accurate to the show's title) Results Show.  Sometimes, I just like to have something on, though that's not an excuse to lower my standards to the worst of what TV has to offer.  Anyhow, I'm blogging away, commercials are doing their thing, and, suddenly, I hear the trademark reaction of my teenage crush.  "Whoa!"  My goodness, I haven't seen Joey, or, excuse me, "Joseph" Lawrence on the boob tube in ages.  Apparently, Blossom decided to return to her roots after becoming a talented doctor or biologist or whatever and she's a small deal again (big deal to me) due to her supporting role on that hit show about nerds and geeks with the hot chick from the John Ritter series in the early 2000s 27 Reasons Not to Date My Daughter or something like that.  So, MB (I've reduced her real name to initials, because I'm not going to google her; I'm too ashamed that I don't have enough confidence that I can spell her name correctly, after basically saying she was my childhood role-model) decided to collect on her resurgent fame and took a phat paycheck from Old Navy.  In her willingness to push $5 slave labor clothing (I don't know that; I'm just making an ASS out of U and ME'ing) she shared the money love with her old TV brother.

I had a huge hard-on for him as a kid and, as we got older (he was only two years younger than me ... is that creepy?  I mean, guys who were seniors dated freshman girls and that's THREE years apart; so stop JUDGING me) he aged rather nicely.  I have a thing for Italian-Americans.  Maybe it has something to do with my low standards. But, anyway, I think he started losing his hair, because his shaved scalp became a permanent thing.  But, with a nice base tan, it was a pretty hot look.  And, who cares if he was making lifetime TV movies with Melissa Joan Hart.  Speaking of which, that's when I think things started to take a downturn for him looks wise.  He started shaping his eyebrows (was it for that gay role he did with the teenage witch?) and I'm not talking basic manscaping here.  There was some serious work going on.  Things were looking a little too manicured (and perhaps dyed slightly) and that would carry over to other facial hair.  Anyway, it was very feminizing for a guy who achieved fame as such "a dude."

Judging from this commercial, though it's hard to see if he's retreated back to a more masculine appearance, he looks like he's wearing a lot of pancake flour and defeat, like the life has been sucked out of him.  I would accuse him as having a touch of Meth Face, except his arms are so bloody huge.  I just want to ... okay, yeah, I'd still hit that shit.  But, damn, he looks like a weird motherfuckah.

On a different note ...

Okay, this is bothering me (Her name).  I'm going to go for it after all ... *deep breath* ... Mayim Belyck.  Or Blyck is my second guess.

Okay, that so does not look right.  I feel pathetic.  I used to admire this girl.  She ended up surviving child stardom and became a doctor (or biologist, whatever; do I have to google that too now?) and I can't even spell her fucking name?  Jesus.  I suck.

Okay, I googled.  I actually got the first name right!  The last one, not so much.  It's "Bialik."

Have I been pronouncing it incorrectly this whole time too?  Actually, I've been pronouncing it six or seven different ways.  First name: right again!  My-im.  Second: Bee-All-ick.  It sounds just like it looks ... when spelled correctly.  Oh, and she got her degree in neuroscience ... and Hebrew ... and Jewish studies.  AND, she stuck with neuroscience and got a PhD.  She's like Neil Patrick Harris' Doogie Howser, as far as I'm concerned, except she doesn't just play a genius on TV.  Oh, okay, Harris is still ridiculously talented and charming and probably totally smart.  But, his partner annoys me.  Okay, I'm just jealous now.