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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

MOVIE SPOILER Blue Like Jazz (review follows)

Posted on 12:00 AM by Unknown
[Warning: if you are Christian and easily offended, then you will object to my style of writing, so please stop reading here.  Thank you.]  The film opens with Donald Miller (played by Christian actor Marshall Allman) who appears to be at a crazy, sweaty concert, but is actually partying at Reed College.  We then see him with other kids dressed up in astronaut suits floating through space.  An asteroid approaches earth.  While at a Texas junior college, his voice-over explains how he learned the basic elements of storytelling: setting, conflict, climax, and resolution (or the acronym SCCR, phonetically pronounced by Don as "sucker," for short).  Don works at an assembly-line factory Cup of Life with his friend Jordan (William McKinney), where they help prepare communion products.  He visits his father who lives in a trailer out in the woods and refuses the opportunity to attend a four-year college outside of his town.  He plays some jazz for his son while he drinks his beer and his girlfriend hops out momentarily for a smoke.  Later, Don wakes up his mother (Jenny Littleton) who has slept in late and makes her breakfast.  After learning that she is sleeping with the youth pastor Kenny (Jason Marsden), he leaves his town in a rage and takes up his father's offer to attend Reed College in Portland, Oregon.


Don arrives at Reed, where his eyes open up to the debaucherous, weird and liberal environment.  There are no gender restrictions on restroom use, condoms are freely handed out, people are dressed up in costumes, etc.  It's like Mardi Gras.  He meets lesbian Lauryn (Tania Raymonde), and they eat leftovers for lunch (waste not, want not).  In his room, he plays his father's jazz record and writes a paper on storytelling.  After taking a call from his mother, from his window, he watches The Pope (Justin Welborn) push a burning shopping cart full of books (a sort of reversal on Fahrenheit 451).

In English class, he notices blonde girl Penny (Claire Holt).  While it's later revealed that she is a "closet Christian" herself, it's pretty obvious from the onset.  He engages in an act of civil disobedience with classmates dressed up as robots and in other space costumes at a chain bookstore.  He runs away with Penny to a cemetery before they get into trouble.  When he tries to make a pass at her, she rebuffs him.  After leaving, he returns to her room and apologizes.  Don works on his bike and rides it across the Hawthorne Bridge and Waterfront Park.  At the Saturday market, a person dressed up as a bear steals his bike and throws it from the Burnside Bridge.  Don takes the metro back to Reed.

He climbs onto a lounging area comprised of rope and gives Penny a pair of gloves.  They get arrested for vandalism one night and Reed bails them out.  While Don makes a speech to an admiring crowd, Penny disappears.  After meeting her on a bridge in the rain, he receives a message from his mother.  Jordan visits Don and the catch up in the dorm kitchen.  The Pope goes around confiscating books he deems unacceptable and Lauryn and Don share a moment.  The next morning, parishioners walk to church and see that the steeple has been vandalized with a giant-sized condom with a sign that says, "Don't let these people reproduce."  Penny confronts him.  On his car, someone has written "Gashole." He learns Kenny has impregnated his mother and collects all of his Christian belongings and dumps them at the foot of the reverend and drives off to the coast.  At Powell's Book Store, he illegally parks his car to attend a lecture, "Does God Exist?"  His car gets towed and he takes the metro to attend Penny's lecture.  She gives him his phone back and they argue in the bike shop.  We see Don floating in space and then milling about the city.

Ren Faire commences and a person dressed in a rabbit suit chases another in a carrot getup.  Don figures out The Pope was molested as a boy and they take shots.  The Pope begins the ceremony to select someone to replace him, as he will be graduating.  After rejecting several candidates, he selects Don who wakes up the next morning in a turned-over stall.  The reverend lets him out.  In the cafeteria, he learns there was an earthquake and knocks on Penny's door.  He falls asleep and dreams about Penny in space.  His phone rings and he goes to church, where Penny is.  Don arrives on campus where there is a long line of students ready for confession.  The departing pope is the first confession and Don confronts him about being molested as a child.  Don then begins a series of apologies on the behalf of judgmental Christians everywhere.  The next confession is the Russian, who was dressed up as a bear.  Roll credits.


Review
Please humor me while my filthy mind just gets it out of the way: Blue Like Jizz.  Okay.  I'm done.  But, deep down, it's how I want to refer to the movie Blue Like Jazz.  But, the movie kind of sets itself up as an open target in a Teabagger kind of way, does it not?  The original title, based on the popular mainstream Christian-themed memoir of a pure soul caught in the sacrilegious campus debauchery of Reed College, is kind of dubious.  Isn't a great deal of jazz blue to begin with?  Even more upbeat and "positive" tempos have an undeniable darker quality, one just can't ignore, can they?  So, boo to Donald Miller for coming up with an obnoxiously redundant name and the studios for thinking it was indeed so cool.  It's not.  It's only cool if you turn off your brain and hold the the English language in contempt, which is kind of the disposition one has to place themselves in order to enjoy the Jizz.

Based on Donald Miller's memoir of the same title, we travel through his college days as a questioning Christian trapped on the world's most liberal campus.™  His mother and local church have let down his expectations and disillusioned his own personal relationship with Christ.  By finding himself surrounded by people who mostly stand in opposition to his faith, he negotiates his way back towards what he knows to be true while taking on the weight of how others have desecrated and distorted his beliefs in the name of his faith.  The film delves into the melodramatics of children born of a broken home.  And while it's true that most struggling kids are the unlucky direct result of more nurture than nature, their ability to make sense of it all and repair their damaged selves isn't nearly as compelling here.

Truthfully, the worst you can say about Blue Like Jazz is its extremely unapologetic apologetic earnestness.  If there is one thing to admire about Jazz is its valiant desire to unite humanity.  It trips on itself endlessly, however, with its martyr complex (i.e. the Mother Teresa figure in the form of a cute, Christian blonde), as if the only selfless character must be of the religious faith, which unknowingly tips the scale in its own favor.  However, its morality isn't entirely one-sided, as my favorite character is "the lesbian" Lauryn.  She's just as lost, confused as Donald and pines to make sense of it all and carve out a simple piece of happiness for herself.  She's played by Tani Raymonde who does the Lizzy Caplan thing even better than Caplan or Kat Dennings.

The film is lovingly produced and the production values truly suck the worth out of every last penny spent.  It looks much more expensive than the $1M-budget it was made on, which is a testament to the filmmaker's talent and the love of their project.  My heart goes soft for the fond assortment of shots of one of the best cities on earth Portland, Oregon (it's a bit annoying how it's one of those towns you sometimes have to qualify with the state it's located in; THANKS Maine!) that incorporate the various trademarks in a rather unassuming way like Hawthorne Bridge, Powell's and the White Stag sign.

Full disclosure, for me, Christianity is like a great one-night stand with no relationship potential.  I'm essentially a humble agnostic who doesn't dare offer "the answer" or trust those who subscribe to "it."  Whatever gets you through the day is my mantra, or at least try to adhere to.  I really should have wrote the glowing review I was inspired to write as the lights in the house went up after the credits rolled.  At that point, I was still working off the fumes of my quickly cooling heart.  But, no, I had to wait weeks until I recorded my (true) thoughts and reveal myself to be the atheist skeptic I really am.  Drats!  Anyway, if it's your cup of tea, enjoy the Jizz.  Even I was able to for a short while, before I snapped to and wiped the Lord's cum stains from my upper lip.
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