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| How daring for the animators to show just how exactly weak-in-the-knees the Prince made her feel; she looks like she's about to go full-on orgasm |
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| Of course, the film has great shots of the regal cunt throwing shade all over the throne to spare, as they should |
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| Who needs to be cremated or buried when you have these two lovelies to pick at your bones? |
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| This is the best shot from many opportunities of when White sees her Prince for the very first time ... as an illusion |
The evil Queen spends her days vainly in front of the Magic Mirror echoing just who is fairest in the land. One day, the Mirror informs her of some news that there's a new girl on the block. I'm not sure when the precise moment is that a girl can be viewed under the same physical judgments as a grown woman, though the film doesn't trouble itself with such a question.
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| Because we all need to make sure our hair looks great when Mr. Right surprises us, even if we're wearing rags |
Princess Snow White dressed in her maid clothes spends her day cleaning and scrubbing while wishing for her prince in song. This time (or perhaps it's some kind of ongoing role playing bit she has been doing with the Prince for a while now--she strikes me as the type) he shows up on cue, immediately taken in by her beauty and serenades her. The jealous queen observes their exchange and orders the Huntsman (who I was never aware of) to drive Snow White into the forest and kill her. To prove he completed his task, she requires he bring her heart back in a box. Blinded by her innocent beauty and unable to slay the young woman, he tells her what's up and pleads for her to flee, sending her to frantically run into a foreign part of the woods, where she finds herself lost.
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| Because I'm dirty and sick in the head (believe me, there's a whole sequence attached to this scene) |
After bonding with an assortment of friendly animals (and reptile), she stumbles upon a house whose residents are away. Snow White makes her bitch-ass comfortable, waltzes right in and starts passing judgments on the level of cleanliness. When she decides to tidy the place up, drunk with power over the animals (and reptile) put under the spell of her kingdom-wide beauty, she starts barking out orders. Not only that, but bitch doesn’t get out much, because she has never met a little person before and keeps thinking that orphans live there without adult supervision.
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| A little social commentary: wherever we dump our garbage, it's always somebody else's backyard |
We soon get to meet those residents while they sing and work the mines for diamonds and such. They’re not too phased when they discover the stranger sleeping in their home and make introductions. The mute Dopey creeps me out. Grumpy needs some rainbow shoved up his ass. Sneezy might consider relocating, because his allergies are incompatible with the forest they’ve been living in all these years. They all make the biggest impressions, though it's Doc who seems to lead them all. It must be because of the medical degree. She inspires them to start man-scaping and sing some more.
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| Would you accept anything from a woman who looked like this, let alone consume it? |
After the Queen’s mirror informs her the huntsman deceived her with a pig’s heart, she places a spell on herself in her private lab that turns her into the old hag she really is. She dips an apple in poison and makes a visit to S. White. The pale-complected standard of beauty is kind of not all there or she takes pity on the unattractive, bewarted witchy-voiced old woman and accepts the piece of fruit. She eats it, literally. So does the queen, though, you wouldn’t know that from the Snow White ride at Disneyland. Thinking Snow White is dead, the little dwarfs mourn her. The prince rides in singing, kisses her, “they live happily ever after" and screw up an entire generation of girls and gay boys.
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| These last two shots literally capture how the Snow White ride at Disneyland ends |
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