Oh My God, I Just Threw Up ... In My Pants

"This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke."  That's the best way to describe the setting for watching the new trailer for turd-fest Rock of Ages.  I can't imagine myself sitting for 90 to 120 minutes through this pile of schlock, but might this be so bad it's good?  I've never seen the "musical" it's based on, nor care to.  Mamma Mia! was hard enough.  The whole idea of showing a bunch of songs from a particular band or genre from decades ago wrapped around a contrived story to house the tenuously connected music just doesn't work for me.  Alec Baldwin gets all the best lines in the trailer.  He got a paycheck for basically playing a tour guide to how completely awful this movie is.  I foresee myself going with friends as a joke and getting plowed beforehand.  "Stacee Jaxx, he gives until it hurts."  This movie might be painfully fun.  It has to be, right?  Tom Cruise is mad, but there's a method, right? ... Yeah, I'm pretty sure this will be a hit, but I really can't wrap my brain around it.  Can you?

"This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke."

"Oh my God, I just threw Up ... [Where?] ... in my pants."

"Stacee Jaxx: he gives until it hurts"

Velma in church clothing

Mary J. Blige adding some wisdom and hair

I can guarantee you something more cool ... overacting

This looks like The Guitar Center in Westwood

And, here's a telling picture of Australian kids Brenton Thwaite admiring Indiana Evans on the set of The Blue Lagoon for Lifetime remake via The Superficial to cleanse the palette.