A Tale of Two Fantines

Grandma Smurf is so full of ideas and optimism, that when she heard about the write-in vote idea floating around Hollywood to compensate for Ben Affleck’s Oscar snub for directing, her brainstorms took her to the edges of insanity (which, is really an average day for her).  Now, there hasn’t been any connection substantiated to her involvement in the recent viral sensation of Emma Fitzpatrick singing a new fangled rendition of Annie’s “I Dreamed a Dream” sequence from Les Misérables, but it wouldn’t be unlike Smurf to actually believe Fitzpatrick could still get qualified for the Best Supporting Actress award for a short internet clip that was released after December 31^st.  The vote split would obviously tip the scales in Smurf's favor.  And no one has actually disproven crafty short-stuff being a silent financier of the rather highly produced and gorgeously filmed five minute scene (it only cost $100).  Pushing stories of a makeshift Dolby Theater stage, a bitchy-kind-of-hate for Katie Holmes, and now this pops up?  Draw your own conclusions …  

Hathaway has been playing defense lately.  Can she weather this latest blow?  

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Best Actress 2013: Marion Cotillard, Lowlife (aka Nightingale)

So, the AMPAS recently demonstrated again that Marion Cotillard has been rewarded enough (for now).  A few years ago, they chose to nominate Penélope Cruz over her for Nine, and despite being armed with every major precursor one generally needs to get into the Oscar race, they left her out, despite her baity role in Rust and Bone.  With so much seeming competition in 2014, does this mean one need not bother to anticipate her chances for Lowlife (aka Nightingale)?  In this immigrant drama-romance set in the earlier part of the 20th century, she plays a Polish woman duped into the vaudeville and burlesque life by a man of ill repute (Joaquin Phoenix), until his cousin magician played by Jeremy Renner comes along and helps her reunite with her ill sister.  The project sounds like a slightly darker version of Water for Elephants.  Director James Gray cowrote the screenplay with Ric Menello (Two Lovers).  This will mark Gray's fourth collaboration with Phoenix (The Yards, We Own the Night, Two Lovers), who is also one of the leads.  Gray will also be working again with editor John Axelrad, production designer Happy Massee, and art director Pete Zumba.  I had challenges figuring out who the costume designer is, but their work shows a lot of promise.  Lensing the film, however, is Darius Khondji, who has often stepped behind the camera for such auteurs as Jean-Pierre Jeunet, David Fincher (Se7en), and, more recently, Woody Allen.  He received an Oscar nomination for Evita, and has also worked with Roman Polanski, Neil Jordan, Danny Boyle, Kar Wai Wong, and Stephen Frears.  Most recently, he filmed Amour with Michael Haneke after having teamed up on the Funny Games remake.  Produced on a $16.5M budget in New York, The Weinstein Company will be releasing the movie sometime this year.

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Best Actress 2013: Jennifer Lawrence, Serena

Christopher Kyle (K-19: The Widowmaker, Alexander) adapted Ron Rash's 2008 novel Serena, set in the North Carolina timber industry during the Depression Era.  Angelina Jolie and Darren Aronofsky were attached, before Susanne Bier and Jennifer Lawrence took over.  The Silver Linings Playbook star loved working with her leading man so much, she asked Bradley Cooper to reteam with her on this new venture.  Their age difference makes them such a weird pairing, but what are you going to do?  He played a business baron and her role is described as a wife with "Lady MacBeth" type tendencies.  It sounds like a great role for Lawrence, but my skeptical side starts to creep out too.  Not sure why.  This could be Twin Peaks First Season Good, or it could be Snow Falling on Cedars.  (I don't know why I selected those two films as comparative examples; Serena isn't set in the PNW)  The Dannish Bier is known for her Oscar-winning In a Better World, as well as directing more mainstream American stars in films like Things We Lost in the Fire and the remake of her own film Brothers, the latter of which was quite good.  She's a pretty prolific director and used much of her own team for Serena including cinematographer Morten Soborg and editor Pernille Bech Christensen.  Producers on the film have worked on everything from Unknown, to Killing Them Softly to Good Night, and Good Luck., to We Own the Night, and The Road.  Rhys Ifans, Toby Jones, and Sean Harris (the ginger from Prometheus who goes apeshit) are also in the cast.  Serena filmed a year ago in the Czech Republic, including Barrandov Studios in Prague.  It will release sometime this year.

Lawrence is at a very interesting point in her career.  We don't know if she is going to win Oscar (money is on her, though).  At this point, it mostly depends on whether the AMPAS think she's too young or not, and if Harvey Weinstein can convince enough voters that she has arrived and is ready.  Did her recent SNL monologue hurt her chances?  Did she really seem to care?  No!  And, that's what I love about her.  SHE DOESN'T CARE.  She could get kicked out of Hollywood, and she would probably figure out something else to do.  If she loses, she came awfully close her second time around at only age 22.  She has shown remarkable range, but there is still an inkling of "can she do more?"  Winter's Bone showed that she had raw talent.  The Hunger Games proved she could carry a huge franchise to major financial success.  Playbook revealed a versatility.  She gives great, off-the-cuff, down-to-earth interviews.  She just doesn't care what anyone thinks.  Now, that could be mostly due to age and where she's from, or it could also be something indeed genuine.  Only time will tell.  But, if there's more in her (which I think there is) and she demonstrates decent taste in choosing scripts, she'll be given many more chances to win.  With three more Hunger Games and who knows how many X-Men, this girl is set through her twenties.  Couldn't have happened to a cooler chick.

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Best Actress 2013: Kate Winslet, Labor Day

It's always interesting to watch an Actress negotiate her career after winning a leading Oscar.  The ladies from the early 1990s didn't do too badly.  But, for a while, it was the kiss of death, or a lifetime achievement award.  While Helen Mirren has benefitted greatly from The Queen, her younger counterparts have struggled.  But things have seemed to start coming back together for a whole lot of them since 2002.  Nicole Kidman, after failing commercially several times while tempering her higher-profile projects with arty ventures, has found a happy medium.  Charlize Theron has been more fortunate at attaching her name to franchise roles which pay well, but aren't too much of a gamble, enabling her to break out a humdinger of a performance every now and then like Young Adult.  Reese Witherspoon, who has weathered some pretty huge bombs has come out unscathed and landing edgier parts.  But, perhaps the best model of gracefully working your way back into the system is Kate Winslet.  She won in 2008, and just like after the monumental success of Titanic, she has rather unassumingly weaved her way way into film (aside from marrying someone with the legal last name RocknRoll).  She won an Emmy and Golden Globe for playing Mildred Pierce in the HBO miniseries. Having worked with Todd Haynes, she then collaborated with other reliable directors like Steven Soderberg and Roman Polanski.  And, now that she is no longer the young ingenue seeking critical validation, she is taking the more mature step of maintaining a commercial appeal by taking on a supporting part in the upcoming Divergent franchise.

Recently, she teamed up with Jason Reitman, who showcased Theron's acting talents in Young Adult a year ago.  Reitman seems to have specialized in comedy-dramas, but, his latest Labor Day, sounds like a drama, that may even border on a thriller.  Told through the eyes of her son, Winslet plays a 1980s/90s-ish mother who extends kindness to man with a record, unbeknownst to her.  Reitman adapted the screenplay based on the Joyce Maynard novel.  Reitman uses some of his Up in the Air team including composer Rolfe Kent, costumer Danny Glicker (Milk), longtime cinematographer Eric Steelberg and editor Dana E. Glauberman, and production design team of Steve Saklad and Mark Robert Taylor.  Filmed last Summer in Massachussetts, Paramount Pictures will likely release the film sometime this year.

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Sheer Lining Playbook

So, Jennifer Lawrence made another good speech, as well as a helluva an entrance.  While it's not clear from the limited footage, but when costar Robert De Niro (they certainly don't make these award shows very unpredictable, do they?) called her name, she got extremely and genuinely excited.  She hugged her parents, embraced her leading man Bradley Cooper, and then hugged her parents again, along with her director David O. Russell.  The best part, however, is when the cameras froze and went off her (thanks five-second delay?) and she presumably took a tumble--judging from some of the reactions--no thanks to wearing a two-piece ball gown while negotiating a maze full of chairs.  Now, do I point this out in derision?  No.  Not at all.  It makes me love her even more.  And, if my threshold for the amour I feel for the girl couldn't even grow beyond that, she pulls up her dress while scaling the steps to reveal that her navy blue dress was actually a cocktail number attached to a possible last minute elongated skirt-train addition and provided built-in ventilation for being under those hot lights.  Or, some are calling the Christian Dior design, excuse me, "a tiered gown."  Genius. As long as Lawrence looks hot and remains cool, I'm all for it.

And, then she makes her speech, which was twenty times better than Anne's version of scaling it back. She tells a cute story about getting her SAG card, how it put her in present company, and then acknowledging that "some of you even voted for me."  She thanks her director and his personal  motivations behind making the film, her leading man, and Harvey "rascal" Weinstein (she eloquently references him "nourishing the filmmakers who nourished" her).  She closes it out with telling her family how much she loves them.  Anne could only a dream a dream of making such a speech, if she's lucky.

Lawrence (aka the Baywatch Babe in Blue) wins.  Harvey wins.  Tom Hooper and everyone else watching her from behind wins.  Christian Dior, who is coming out this Spring with a line of ventilated underwear, wins.  We all win.  And that's the silver lining.

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Anne Reigns It In

You want humble?  That's what you're going to get

When Sexy Back in the Day finally rattles off the Best Supporting Actress in a Movie SAG nominees this evening, there's a collective eye-roll that overtakes the room like a group wave in the bleachers at a sporting event.  Says one seated across from the Les Misérables table, "That's what Anne's wearing?  It looks like the Rachel Weisz Golden Globe trainwreck from a few weeks ago."  Another: "It is.  Louis Vitton plucked out all the polka dots and told her she could use it as long as she called it a Giambattista Valli."  Meanwhile, Grandma Smurf elbows Harvey Weinstein, "I might as well be in a Pinto behind the Shrine Auditorium peeling an apple listening to the radio broadcast version of this bullshit."

As it has been on the agenda for tonight's event for quite some time, they call Anne's name and Ms. Hathaway conducts herself with all the restraint she practiced with her Oscar Speech therapist.  She kisses leading man Hugh and hugs arch nemesis/ inspiration Sally ("I hate you, I really, really hate you").  Anne's internal monologue begins to play as she goes through the motions.  Okay don't blow this, Annie.  Don't say blurg.  Act humble and relate to the audience by making that dental joke just like they said ... Oh, good they laughed.  *deep breath*  Now tell a short personal story about how you got your SAG card.  Acknowledge the room, but more humble, more humble.  Shake your head like you earned it, but not in an entitled manner.  Make a reference to Fantine Sr.  Let's try another crack.  Oh, that didn't hit.  Shouldn't have been such a bitch.  Getting too confident again.  Moving on.  Thanks Dad for putting up with my crazy ass, as well as your wife's.  And, oh, yes, everyone, like Jennifer Lawrence, I have brothers (but, remember that one of them is gay), but I guess they should have picked on me more because look how cool and grounded she turned out to be she is nominated in the lead category and I'm in supporting.  Okay, now mention your reps.  Oh, fuck, I don't know any of them by name.  Mayday, mayday.  Quick, make another bitchy, but overly sweet joke.  Yes!  That one worked.  I should wing it more often, I'm so good at this.  Okay, gotta thank manager Susan because, thanks to me, we're greater than The Beatles!  Remind everyone that I was Catwoman.  Thank you director, studios, and, finally, hubby.  I'm told that no one wants to hear our wedding vows, so they can just suck on some sexual innuendo.  Kisses.  

Anne embraces her Oscar Speech coach waiting behind the stage.  "That was good.  Four more weeks.  Just keep your coochie covered at all times, and it's yours."  Sitting at the Silver Linings table that is adorned in a dull grey tablecloth with no discernible flashy, glittery, or positive edges, Grandma Smurf is none to pleased.  "How shit-faced am I going to get if we don't win ensemble?"  Jennifer Garner leans over and whispers, "You better get started now."

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Best Actress 2013: Scarlett Johansson, Under the Skin

Scarlett Johansson wrapped herself in fur and popped on a shoulder-length black wig to play an alien in Jonathan Glazer's Under the Skin.  Glazer's motion picture debut was Sexy Beast and this will be his followup to Birth starring Nicole Kidman in 2004.  Walter Campbell adapted Michel Faber's novel about a creature from another planet who lures humans to their death to feed her extraterrestrial brethren.   Glazer's crew is pretty new and/or unrecognized.  The project sounds more pensive and smaller scale ala Never Let Me Go, than full-fledged science fiction, with a satirical twist.  It has been a while since Johansson carried a film.  After The Nanny Diaries tanked, it was her Natasha Romanoff that helped keep her commercial profile up, and now she finds herself in a lead role in an arty little project that may have a big payoff, or at least help her continue to take on such projects.  UK Film Council cofinanced the film's Scottish shoot.

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Best Supporting Actress 2013: Margo Martindale, August: Osage County

Rondi Reed (left) originated August: Osage County's Mattie Fae Aiken role
in Chicago and later won a Tony, as well as making a reprise in the London
production; Margo Martindale (right) plays the part in the film version

Well, after hanging out at AD, the subject of August: Osage County came up, so I suppose now is as good of a time as any to break the seal on Margo Martindale's Oscar chances. I can't rightly say that she will win a year from now.  HOWEVER, I am willing to bet serious money that she will be nominated at a minimum for August.  The role is a doozy and she's starring in Harvey Weinstein's crown jewel for next year's Oscar season.  Part of her chances of winning will involve just how exactly Julia Roberts will be campaigned.  Roberts' other awards-grab-in-the-making The Normal Heart has just become an HBO-venture instead of a motion picture, so I imagine August to be the wide-mouthed actresses' only shot at any Oscar attention for a while.  Her role in the play, along with Meryl Streep's, is technically a lead.  Although, if push comes to shove, it's Streep's Viola Weston who is at the center of everything.  We don't know how the movie will play out, but even if it stays true to its theatrical roots, category fraud could very easily come into play.  Will Roberts stand to be campaigned for anything less than lead?  There hasn't been a double-billed lead actress Oscar campaign since Thelma & Louise.  Everything that has come closest since (namely Chicago, The Hours) has had some kind of legitimate justification for splitting up the actresses, or faced stiff competition in getting both of its ladies in (The Kids Are All Right).

But, without a doubt, Martindale will be supporting.  Her movie career dates back to the early 90s.  She has worked with Tom Cruise, Sandra Bullock, and Susan Sarandon a couple of times each in small roles, and became one of those faces you just recognize.  She raised her profile by appearing as Hilary Swank's white trash money-hungry mother in Million Dollar Baby and continued to work in films, as well as getting a featured role on the TV show The Riches.  But, it wasn't until her role on the series Justified (she won an Emmy a year ago) did larger audiences begin paying more attention specifically to her.  At age 61, she is hitting the peak of her career and will become an even more popular entity when August lands sometime this year and people get a look at her Mattie Fae Aiken.  As far as Martindale is concerned, there are only four slots available in her category, because she has already parked herself in one of them.  Do you think Grandma Smurf might have it in for her?  Margo can rest easy, for now.  The mafia matriarch is currently preoccupied with one Anne Hathaway.

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Review: Les Misérables (spoilers)

(written first week of January) After waiting on a friend to get into town for exactly a week, I finally managed to view Les Misérables, one of the most anticipated films of 2012.  Of course, expectations ran high.  I had never seen the stage musical, but always wanted to, being familiar with a couple of the songs.  I can be very easily emotionally manipulated at the cinema, and I prefer to support the musical genre, as it touches on themes and feelings in quite profound ways that many belittle.  So, I had my biases going in.  Musicals never get a fair shake and always operate from a deficit in good-will from the general populace.  In the last week, I have absorbed various opinions both disparaging and praising the motion picture.  Those who adored the film, often coupled their remarks with minor criticisms.  Those who derided the movie musical were fair enough to throw it kudos in select areas (singling out the acting, acknowledging the source material, etc).  Yet, despite those who landed in the middle, for many (at least from what I have read from bloggers and their commenters on the internet) all that really mattered was their overall opinion, which boiled down to them either loving or hating the movie.  It's pretty safe to say that I fall into the former.  While this film was far from being perfect, I absolutely adored the final result.

The story is quartered, for all intents and purposes.  We meet convict Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) as the effects of the French Revolution have been lost and monarchy has taken over the people yet again.  When a cleric takes pity on him for his desperation, he becomes a changed man.  Years later, he alters his identity to become a successful factory owner.  He narrowly escapes the clutches of an inspecter bent on punishing him for his crimes, while taking in an orphan Cosette (played by Isabelle Allen and then Amanda Seyfried as she ages) under his wings.  Flash forward again to another uprising on the death of Jean Maximilean Lamarque, the only French government official sympathetic to the poor at that time.  Revolutionaries setting up barricades in the streets of Paris provide the backdrop for a love triangle that develops between Marius (Eddie Redmayne), who is loved by Éponine (Samantha Barks), but himself is in love with Cosette.  

Les Misérables covers a variety of themes in epic, yet intimate fashion from true to unrequited love, redemption, classicism, selflessness, nature verses nurture, rule of law, oppression, pride, judgment, loyalty, forgiveness.  The ambitious tale is filled with show-stopping songs.  If you read pundits who single out Fantine's (Anne Hathaway) "I Dreamed a Dream" and insist the movie dies after her arc finishes and the movie lay lifeless for the next ninety minutes or so, I only suggest they're doing their audience a disservice.  "Dream" is the most popular song of the musical in the mainstream, thanks partly to Susan Boyle's rendition from a few years ago (not to forget the actresses who helped bring it to fame on stage).  But, the fact of the matter is that there are plenty more heart-wrenching and driving pieces that achieve greater highs and often reoccur during the story.  The song I was most familiar with, "Master of the House," is a comical bit that is played rather broadly by innkeepers Monsieur and Madame Thénardier (Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter, the latter of which appears to have stumbled off the set of Sweeney Todd, for better or worse).  But, there were many showstoppers: "Look Down," "One Day More," "Do You Hear the People Sing?," "On My Own," "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables," among others.  

The musical requires a suspension of disbelief greater than just about any genre out there.  With people singing who aren't standing on stage, as well as truncated character development, if you're not willing to look passed these contrivances, then you can't allow yourself to open up to the emotion.  Many have joked that comic-book adaptations are considered more believable than musicals, even though they have what are essentially cartoon characters flying around in tights.  Yet, because someone like, for example, Christopher Nolan bases his Batman universe "in reality," it's given so much more of "a pass."  The truth of the matter is that people don't break into song on the street, so when it's attempted on celluloid it's held up for mockery, first, before being considered for anything else.  Frankly, the handful of moments where there is actual spoken dialogue I found distracting.  

It's hard not to discuss cinema politics, without acknowledging that some, but not all, of the bile spewed towards this movie relates directly to director Hooper.  Had he not won for The King's Speech (a much inferior film, putting it lightly) two years ago, there wouldn't be half the animosity that exists towards this movie.  But, it's easy to ignore his bold choice to have the musical filmed with live singing (which provides an undeniable gravitas) and poke holes in his questionable camera choices and staging.  Other detractors are more succinct and genuine.  The singing isn't always perfect.  Russell Crowe, most noticeably, has a nasal voice and lacks breath support.  If you don't like him at his first note, then you will have to suffer through his performance.  Being a Hollywood film, the producers could have done much worse.  Cohen and Carter aren't the best for the roles, but they still service the film.  For those who like to malign Hathaway for her indicating acting ticks, they are most definitely there, but, when she sings, she soars.  Everyone else was solid, including Hugh Jackman, who infuses his Valjean with an admirable commitment and empathy.  Two actors whose performances are given understated press are Aaron Tveit (Marius' compatriot Enjolras) and Daniel Huttlestone (who plays street urchin Gavroche).  

Oscar Prospects

(written in early January pre-Oscar nomination announcement)  If Universal Pictures had Harvey Weinstein in their corner, than Lincoln would have to kiss Oscar goodbye.  I, as well as many others, have been calling Hathaway for the win since she shaved her head on camera after weeks of eating oatmeal squares.  My prediction is that she'll be joined in the winner's circle by the Sound Mixers.  While the Best Song category is always inexplicably a crapshoot, it seems like almost a given that "Suddenly" will be nominated and win, if it's not eclipsed by "Skyfall." Further nominations seem certain: Best Actor (Best Actor); Makeup; Costume Design; Art Direction, Best Picture.  We're looking at a minimum of eight.  Cinematography has a little competition, but Danny Cohen, who was nominated for The King's Speech, stands a good shot, as his work, depending on who you ask either enhanced or diluted the source material.  I found the camera angles distracting, at times, although not altogether unpleasant.  And there were moments that were quite beautiful.  I would also say editors Chris Dickens (who won for Slumdog Millionaire) and Melanie Oliver are also formidable candidates.  For directing, Tom Hooper tried something never done on film before by having his actors sing live for the purposes of the final product.  And, he did so in quite a moving way. There have been lesser directors (including Hooper himself) who have made it into this category, even going on to winning.  Whether or not he gets nominated will gauge exactly how much the AMPAS fell in love with this film.  Cinematography, Editing, and Sound Editing nods will also speak well of its prospects at a multitude of statues on Oscar night.  However, if it manages to snag an Adapted Screenplay position, I'd almost be willing to say Lincoln tell Best Picture goodbye.  The fat lady has sung, though, if we see Russell Crowe, Eddie Redmayne, or Samantha Barks pop up with a nod of their own, which is highly unlikely.  

The truth is, despite all its warts, I'm still pulling for Les Mis.  What I fear is that the love is already waning.  It led Django Unchained at the box-office, but has relented its edge since.  The fans came pouring out the first week and now it's up to mainstream to keep the momentum going.  And, let's face it: when was the last time the queens got a Best Picture?  Yeah, I rest my case.  

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Grandma Smurf Strikes Again

After she made the mistake of sending one of her less abled sons to throw a firebomb at Ms. Hathaway's Oscar Dream, Grandma Smurf does NOT let up.  "Damn me if Jennifer and Robert get Oscars and NOT ME.  This may be my last chance.  Some are even giving Bradley Cooper dark horse status.  BRADLEY-FUCKING-COOPER.  He hosts travel shows naked!  This is unacceptable."  Deciding she can handle her campaign better than Harvey Weinstein thankyouverymuch, she enlists another one of her boys to rely less on rumor and more on evidence.  Unable to break into her NYC apartment to take pictures of Hathaway's temporary Academy Award stage (that will be converted to a humidity-controlled Oscar display room at the end of February), she sends Darren instead of Craig to the 30 Rockefeller Plaza archive room to view old SNL episodes and dig up something good.  And, low and behold, right from underneath everyone with short memories and poor cognitive skills, he only had to watch Anne's last two times hosting to discover that she has done not one, but two impressions of Dawson's Crack star Katie Holmes.  "Bloody Hell," thought Darren.  "It couldn't be just a coincidence."  He plays Anne's last stint from late 2012 to the very end of the episode and watches her apologize to Claire Danes for her grown-up Angela Chase impersonation at curtain, but says nothing concerning the former  Scientology beard, not even a derisive side-eye. "Eureka!"

Darren eagerly flies back to Grandma Smurf's L.A. headquarters behind the Dolby Theater to share the wonderful information.  "I've got good news, Mum."  Jacki's smile curls ever so slightly at the ends in anticipation of what's next.  "She's a bitch, a grade-A cunt and I've got the proof."  He explains and Ms. Weaver doesn't get too excited: "It's not a whole lot, son,  But, it's a start, love, it's a start."  Realizing Star Magazine would recognize her voice from the other day, she picks up the phone and calls the Enquirer instead and uses the Oklahoman accent she had been learning for August: Osage County.  (Damn that asshole Harvey for telling me I'd be his next Judi Dench, she thinks as she puts her newly acquired skill to some use)  "Hello, tabloid people.  My name is Katie Holmes."  She begins sobbing.  "And, Annie Hathaway hates my guts!"  Darren interrupts her and whispers, "Katie's from Ohio, not Oklahoma."  Jacki hangs up the phone, smirks, and pulls into her computer to check Celebitchy.  Looking at the post at the very tops, she says, "Looks like it doesn't matter, son.  We may have found our positive spin.  Annie's dream is going to turn into a nightmare, yet, just you wait."

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Manti Not Gay' O

Katie Couric made a ratings grabbed interviewed Manti Te'o recently.  When I heard about the story last week, I tried to figure out what was going on, but it all sounded so stupid, I got disinterested really quick.  Initially I heard all these rumors from large outlets about Te'o and his father concocting a dying girlfriend story to create a compelling narrative for the Heisman Trophy Award.  I guess there is no truth to those, because I'm not hearing them anymore?  Because, you know, there has been so much truth to combat them I guess?  Chalk another one up for journalism!  Anyway, another rumor floated around was that he's gay.  Now, just when we have up and coming actors in Hollywood who (finally) aren't phased by their heterosexuality being questioned because they're not butch enough, etc (in fact, even play around with the notion by being prick teases, because there is nothing offensive about the question), now we have douchebags in the sports world who don't get it.  What is the learning curve there?  Another ten, twenty years?  Dude, if someone asks you if you're gay, but you're straight, you politely say 'no' or ask the questioner why it even matters if you were.  You don't condescendingly say 'no,' add a couple of 'far from it''s (emphasis on the 'FAR,' just in case you didn't hear him; he likes the PUSSAY!) and laugh like a dumb ass to an audience of chuckling female assholes, who are all relieved because Manti might screw them after the show.  But, of course, if you are gay and a dumb asshole, then you respond like Manti Te'o.  Mission: Not Accomplished to the more discerning.  Oh, and, thank you Katie Couric for sitting there with your thumbs up your ass.  (You might have to "hide ad" before watching the twenty-second clip of inanity; please let me know if the player doesn't work.)


[Via Dlisted]

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Grandma Smurf Puts a Hit Out on Anne's Oscar Chances?

"Randall ... we do what we have to do, we do what we must."

Since this is Anne-related, I feel compelled to blog about a "story" from Star Magazine (the print version, I guess) that perpetuated the rumor that Ms. Hathaway hired a team of writers and built a temporary stage in her NYC apartment to practice her Oscar speech.  Several blogs including Rumor Fix (never mind that they don't even have their facts straight on Anne's Oscar history) and Celebitchy picked it up, and reported additionally that her rep squashed the rumors, starting with the fact that she hasn't been in New York for weeks, nor will be there before the Oscar ceremony.  While I don't believe most of this is true (I could see her hiring a writer to help her, though), I find the fabrication hilarious.  Everyone expects Anne to win.  She has made it clear we should expect it since cameras started rolling that she's even more can't-lose than Daniel Day-Lewis (although that may be up for debate).  It has gotten to a point on the internet where it has turned into kind of a joke.  Her people may have wanted to reign her back a little, although I'm not sure exactly how that could have been done while communicating the sacrifices she made for the role.  (Although, it should be said that many people were floored enough by her performance that she might have considered allowing her work to speak for itself.)  Her Golden Globes speech, which was her first time in front of a national audience, did not go over well at all.  Jessica Chastain talked about how gratifying it was to be validated after years and years of hard work and rejection.  Jennifer Lawrence haphazardly tried to make a 1990s reference, though I applaud her nonetheless for her impressive trove of movie trivia.  Adele made some comment about the friend she traveled with and the airplane ride over the pond (I don't remember).  But, Anne.  No, Anne basically said, "I am in a room full of great people and thank you for telling me I am great too.  I will never ever again think I'm not great.  Shedding my child star persona was so hard.  Wah."  Anne's kind of setting herself up to fail.  But, she doesn't have a history of failing, so I don't foresee her falling on her face like Joaquin Phoenix (who went the complete opposite direction).

How does something like this get started?  Well, one must ask who stands to gain, right?  Namely Sally Field, Helen Hunt, Amy Adams, Jacki Weaver, and the studios who back their film.  So, how does this work?  The PR team (or whatever they're called) behind Lincoln or Jacki Weaver (who got nominated for playing the mob matriarch in 2010's Animal Kingdom), for example, are talking and trying to think of ways to add more Academy Awards to their chest on Oscar night.  So, somebody gets ballsy and thinks that maybe they can take down Fantine.  She has become a source of ridicule and appears to be a vulnerable target out of her own volition.  And once a fire starts, all it needs are the right conditions to spread, right?  So, they call up Star Magazine and tell this ridiculous story to see if they can get it to stick.  Anne's reps immediately nip it in the bud, but it doesn't hurt to try, right?  Really.  I have zero idea how this works, but find it all very fascinating.

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Best Actress 2013: Naomi Watts, Diana

Naomi Watts' career has certainly taken off lately in a big way.  She recently came out of nowhere to nab her second Best Actress nomination.  While the AMPAS have looked her over in the past, it has never been for a film that has received considerable Oscar attention outside the non-actory King Kong.  What's telling about this year is that the film she got nominated for, The Impossible, received no other nominations (in fact, she is also the only person in her category from a non-Best Picture nominee--a first, at least, in modern AMPAS history).  This year is quite big for her.  Not only is she a dark horse possibility for a win, but she has several films that might release including Sunlight Jr. opposite Matt Dillon.  Exclusive Releasing just acquired her film Two Mothers costarring Robin Wright at Sundance.  She may also play both Marilyn Monroe and Gertrude Bell.  And there is an international rollout already prepared for Diana, where she took on the iconic role of the Princess of Wales.  Stephen Jeffreys (The Libertine) based his screenplay on the last two years of Diana's life, concentrating on her crusade against landmines, as well as her relationship with Dr. Hasnat Khan (played by Naveen Andrews).  My instinct isn't strong on this, but we'll have to see.  It could be Iron Lady or My Week with Marilyn quality and Watts could still get positive attention.  German director Oliver Hirschbiegel, who directed the excellent Downfall, as well as Nicole Kidman in the box-office dud The Invasion, helmed the project.  The cast includes the lovely Juliet Stevenson.  Hirschbiegel used his cinematographer Rainer Klausmann and editor Hans Funck.  Art Director Mark Raggett has been involved with such films as The Hours, Shakespeare in Love, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.  Prosthetic makeup designer Barrie Gower chose not to mess with Watts' nose, which I find an intriguing choice.  Diana's nose was such a distinct part of her physical and distinctive beauty.  Perhaps Watts' work in the role has deemed it unnecessary.  As we saw with Michelle Williams, she didn't need to have Monroe's hips to capture her essence.  Watts' Oscar competitor Jessica Chastain was originally set to play the role, but dropped out due to scheduling conflicts.  No U.S.-distribution rights have been set up as of yet, but it seems likely that the film will come out this year.

Interesting to note: Watts was 43 when she portrayed Diana from ages 34 to 36, or thereabout.  Nicole Kidman is 45 and is currently finishing up playing Grace Kelly at 32.  While Watts received zero criticism, Kidman got quite a bit of flack (even from Cinesnatch).  What a difference a couple of years makes, no?  Or is the unaddressed Botox talking?

Check out more Best Actress 2013 contenders

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Best Actress 2013: Dakota Fanning

Child prodigy Dakota Fanning has been blessed in her career opportunities as she is talented.  Almost nineteen years old, she has worked alongside the likes of Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise, Sean Penn, Robert DeNiro, and Denzel Washington.  She has also portrayed the younger version of Reese Witherspoon.  With Hounddog from a few years back, the intent was to turn her into the next Jodie Foster, but it didn't quite pan out that way.  However, as she grew into her teens, she took on a more mature role that fit her quite well as Cherie Currie in The Runaways.  Additionally, she hitched her wagon to costar Kristen Stewart's Twilight franchise.  She has several interesting projects awaiting release, including a few directed by females (Naomi Foner and Kelly Reichardt).  Her most promising film for 2013, however, appears to be Effie, based on a young 1800s socialite married to art critic John Ruskin.  Effie Gray ended up annulling her marriage due in part to her husband's physical repulsion towards her.  Despite finding love with painter John Millais, she became a pariah of sorts for her decision.  Emma Thompson wrote the screenplay.  Thompson has a role, as well as Greg Wise, Tom Sturridge, and Derek Jacobi.  Others involved include Cinematographer Andrew Dunn (The Madness of King George) and Costume Designer Ruth Myers (Emma, The Addams Family, L.A. Confidential).  Richard Laxton directed the film over a year ago in Venice, Italy.  No U.S. distribution has been set up yet.  There has been a competing movie project, which hasn't yet filmed.  As well, a few suits have been filed against Thompson's screenplay for breech of copyright.  One has been dropped, then other still unresolved.

Check out more Best Actress 2013 contenders

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Annapurna Scorecard

While I have been skeptical of the new film studio, they seem to be riding a positive wave lately.  The financial results of The Master gave some pause, but the runaway success of Zero Dark Thirty kind of makes it all better.  How have they done so far?

Lawless (Budget: $45M; Domestic: $37.4M; Worldwide: $53.7M; 67% RT; Cinemascore: B+)

The Master ($35M; $16M; $20.5M; 86%)

Killing Them Softly ($15M; $15M; $34.4M; 75%; F)

Zero Dark Thirty ($40M; $57.1M; $60.2M and climbing; 93%; A-)

Not bad for a studio that has just started out and has shown an inclination to darker material (much more promising than DreamWorks SKG).  Zero has proven that a complicated film that presents ideas one can't contain within one box, especially when it creates controversy and interest, can be successful.  It backfired with the AMPAS, but what would you rather have, if you can only choose one?  A film that makes money or a film that wins Oscars?

What does 2013 hold?  They'll be distributing the much anticipated The Grandmaster, as well as the edgy Spring Breakers.   Kar Wai Wong films usually don't make much money, but this doesn't look like just any arty Wong film.  Same goes for Harmony Korine.  Spike Jonze latest Her may also come out, as well as Bennett Miller's intriguing Foxcatcher.  They'll also be backing David O. Russell's next project post-Silver Linings Playbook and possibly Andrew Dominik's (Killing) Marilyn Monroe film and a Terminator sequel with the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Terminator is a great property to have, especially if they find a visionary director to redefine the franchise (which I'd argue is imperative).  I'm not sure if attaching the former California governor is a wise move, however.

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Oscar Odds: Less Than Five Weeks To Go

Less than five weeks to Oscar, and here's my unscientific take on the big categories.  Of course, things could/will change towards the end of January/early February, once PGA (Lincoln vs. Argo), SAG (Lincoln vs. Argo / Silver Linings Playbook), and DGA (Lincoln vs. Argo) are decided upon, though I don't foresee the landscape changing dramatically unless a real wrench is thrown into the works, like a Life of Pi or Les Misérables win (or Silver Linings winning outside of SAG or Argo winning all three).  Generally, the Oscars are more predictable, with 75% of the big eight winners already a done deal.  This year, however, there's some activity in every other category (and then some).  If I laid down big money right now, I'd only commit to Best Actor and Supporting Actress.  That's 25%.  Talk about a flip-flop from years past.  It's exciting, though, no?  A real race, for a change.  From easiest to hardest to call: Supporting Actress > Actor > Director > Adapted Screenplay > Picture > Actress > Original Screenplay > Supporting Actor.

Best Picture
40% Lincoln.  The frontrunner, whether we like it or not.
30% Argo.  The possible upset, whether we like it or not.
15% Life of Pi.  The place of the truly unexpected, if the AMPAS want to go there.
10% Silver Linings Playbook.  What can Harvey do with a non-period film?  Certainly, its release strategy is shrewd, but is that really going to put it overt the top?  Everything seems so "possible" right now, because it just had what will be its highest grossing weekend.
5%   Les Misérables.  The AMPAS can mostly hear the detractors sing.
0%   Zero Dark Thirty.  The brainless contingent of the liberal faction made sure Zero is at 0%.
0%   Amour.  The subject matter alone isn't enough for contention.
0%   Beasts of the Southern Wild.  Only in a fan's wildest dreams?
0%   Django Unchained.

Best Director
60% Steven Spielberg
25% Ang Lee
10% David O. Russell
5%   Michael Haneke
0%   Benh Zeitlin

Three Oscars for Spielberg seem kind of shaky right now, because so many people are suggesting so.  But, come on.  $160M+ and counting for a film about "ideas," with the central character part of Americana culture.  Good luck, Ang Lee, but Spielberg losing at this point seems almost like wishful thinking.

Best Actress
45% Jennifer Lawrence
40% Jessica Chastain
10% Emmanuelle Riva
5%   Naomi Watts
0%   Quvenzhané Wallis

Lawrence has been the frontrunner since her film won the Audience Award at TIFF, but the enthusiasm has always been in check.  Some found her recent SNL monologue to have placed her in a precarious position, especially in the context of Jessica Chastain having the #1 and #2 movies of the weekend (crazy, right?).  Since September, like many, my default has always been to go with Lawrence, but Chastain could still easily sneak in.  This is going to be one of those "hindsight is 20/20" wins, I believe.  I think it's cute that some believe Riva has a chance.  Good luck with that.  Will the AMPAS recognize her for her performance?  They certainly didn't with Imelda Staunton eight years ago.  But, it can only happen if they decide that they are not ready to reward Lawrence or Chastain.  I can't say they are.  Surely, they find one of them worthy.  And, I'm subscribing to the silly belief that Watts can't win with such battier projects on the near horizon.  Like that means anything.  This race is probably closer than I'm willing to admit.  I see Lawrence having a long career, which seems less possible with an early win for a "lightweight" performance.  But, if Gwyneth Paltrow can do it ...

Best Actor
90%    Daniel Day-Lewis
7.5%   Hugh Jackman
2.5%   Joaquin Phoenix
0%      Denzel Washington
0%      Bradley Cooper

This officially became a threepeat question for Day-Lewis when The Master stumbled at the box-office, Phoenix opened his mouth, and Day-Lewis landed the cover of Time magazine.  Now the best performance of the year has become "the nomination is the reward."  Wow.  Phoenix likes to learn things the hard way.  The fact that he made a joke of himself with the whole "retirement" and "hip-hop documentary," already had him in the category of "the fact that you're still working is the reward."  But, by the unlikely chance that Jackman won, that would present two former Oscar hosts winning on the same evening.  And Day-Lewis won only five years ago ...

Best Supporting Actress
95%  Anne Hathaway
2.5% Sally Field
2.5% Amy Adams
0%    Helen Hunt
0%    Jacki Weaver

So, I've been blabbering on and on about how Anne is winning Oscar this year.  I would be lying if I didn't said I *almost* broke a sweat a few weeks ago.  Not saying that I did, but I did notice the temperature creeping up a degree or two suddenly.  I threw Hathaway into the Catherine Zeta-Jones/Jennifer Hudson pool early on, but then I never stopped to consider how she was going to handle herself.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but Zeta-Jones and Hudson conducted themselves quite well during their awards season, no?  Pure professionals, right?  I didn't stop to consider that this wouldn't be happening with Anne.  It didn't dawn on me that once Anne started winning all these awards that Ugly Anne who makes us cringe (as opposed to Charming and Talented Anne who rears her head every once in a while, and not often enough) would have to go up to the podium to collect all of her trophies.  So, that's where the "self-doubt" on my part comes from.  LOL.  Her Try gives me pause.  But, she's so high up there, Anne is still winning.

Best Supporting Actor
30%    Robert De Niro
27.5% Tommy Lee Jones
22.5% Philip Seymour Hoffman
20%    Christopher Waltz
0%      Alan Arkin

I'm surprised more people aren't floating De Niro's name around.  Am I missing something here?  Now, granted, I didn't find him particularly good in the role and his "crying" scene was so forced and disingenuous.  Could he be the surprise?  The race is a close one, possibly a four-way.  How often does that happen?  And all former winners too.  Who has had the most losses since their win?  De Niro (and, Hoffman).  Who has gone without longest?  De Niro > Jones > Hoffman > Arkin > Waltz.  Who has the biggest name recognition?  De Niro.  Who has the most nominations?  De Niro (7).  Who has had the longest career?  Alan Arkin.  But, De Niro is close behind.  But, De Niro, unlike the others, already has two.  Still, Raging Bull was over three decades ago.  Raging Bull, people.  He was Daniel Day-Lewis'ing it, before DDL hit the screen.  And De Niro is considered one of the greats.  Could he be ReOscared with a third on the same evening as the much younger Day-Lewis?  The performances don't compare.  And De Niro has "soiled" his resume some in recent memory.  Am I just trying to make this happen, because no one else is and I want to cry out "first"?  (Correction: I think Rope of Silicon has just put him on top, now.)  Think Jack Nicholson #3, As Good As It Gets: older guy with OCD issues.  Or, does the math mean something here?  Are Waltz and Hoffman serious threats?  Waltz' Golden Globe win didn't hurt, but did it mean anything?  Is it because he technically has a lead role and he could Juliet Binoche the Oscars?  Am I underestimating Hoffman?  Is there seriously a clamoring for him to recognized again?  Yes, he has the title role, which is weighty, but I didn't get the memo that he's a legend.  And, Grumpy Cat, Grumpy Cat, what are they feeding Tommy Lee Jones?  I think I'm giving the edge to DeNiro, because I'm crazy that way.  But, wait, no I'm not!  Wait, yes, I am!

Best Adapted Screenplay
65%    Lincoln
20%    Argo
10%    Life of Pi
2.5%   Silver Linings Playbook
2.5%   Beasts of the Southern Wild


Lincoln is one of the frontrunners and I can't get over the idea of some no-namer beating Tony Kushner.  He's Broadway royalty and most in the know, know his name.  He has won Tony, Emmy, and Pulitzer!  My prognosticating brain can't adapt to any other situation.

Best Original Screenplay
35%    Zero Dark Thirty
32.5% Django Unchained
30%    Amour
2.5%   Moonrise Kingdom
0%      Flight

Well, the controversy should extinguish Zero Dark Thirty's chances, but I can't let go.  Personal bias is getting in the way.  I'm embarrassed that I even consider Django a threat, because it's such a grossly uneven movie, and for a Tarantino film, I doubt there will be many lines we'll be quoting five years from now.  The best one (which is genius from a writing and marketing perspective) is so specific too ("The 'D' is silent").  Still trying to predict Amour, but just can't yet.  Think Talk to Her.

Knee-Jerk Predictions (For Now):
Cinematography: Life of Pi
Editing: Argo
Production Design: Anna Karenina
Costume Design: Anna Karenina
Makeup: Les Misérables
Score: Life of Pi
Song: Skyfall
Sound Mixing: Les Misérables
Sound Editing: Skyfall
Visual Effects: Life of Pi

Foreign Language: Amour
Animated Feature: Frankenweenie
Documentary: How to Survive a Plague

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Egg Dunaway

There are few words to be said about this commercial.  All I know is that the director's name is Kazumi Kurigami.  The product was called Parco.  And it involved Faye Dunaway eating an egg.  If I were to guess year, judging by the look, quality, and appearance of Miss Dunaway, as well as the fact that she's being filmed dressed in a fancy outfit peeling (whoops, missed a bit of shell) and enjoying a hard-boiled egg for ninety seconds, I'm going to guess this was probably sometime after her fall from grace in the early 1980s between Mommie Dearest and Supergirl.  What is your guess?  Or, do you know when this was actually filmed?

[via boy culture]

[Via Boy Culture]

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Jonah Hill Climbed Up a Mountain, You Know?

Lainey put it all in perspective on Jonah Hill the other day.  I hadn't realized that his smile was at half-mast when AMPAS called Christopher Plummer's name last year.  I know this is old news and why kick a dog when he's down, but ... that whole Don Lemon/Twitter incident wasn't that long ago.  Granted, Lemon's ego was a little too big and thin-skinned for my taste.  I mean, it's not like Hill threw him keys and told him, "Home, Jeeves."  But, generally, Lemon strikes me as harmless, and perhaps even personable (isn't it strange when a "reporter" becomes "the news" over a silly social misunderstanding?  Welcome to the 21st-century?).  But, what stopped Hill from taking the high road?  Can we find the answers in his bitch face at the Oscars?  Funny what five years in Hollywood can do to you, right?  In a heightened game of luck you were fortunate enough to appear in a Best Picture nominee, which garnered a total of six nominations in a role where you do nothing remarkable, other than not embarrass yourself (Read: the nomination was the reward).  He won ZERO precursors.  Plummer won every major and nearly swept up the critic awards.  He was EXPECTED to win.  In fact, Plummer was the undisputed odds-on favorite for a quite while.  It sucks to lose, right?  But, when you lose to someone who everyone expected to take it, perhaps you're ignoring all of the key indicators and going in blind, right?  Okay, you need better people, but fine.  You know that The Sound of Music's 50th anniversary is in two years, right?  He was Captain Fucking Von Trapp.  And the 82-year-old Captain had just been nominated for the first time only two years previously.  Was there no sense of Hollywood royalty and history?  No deference to your elders, who had earned their place in moviedom before perhaps your parents were born?  Yeah, it sucks to lose.  But, buck the Hell up and bow to the Captain.  Hill is a lesson in what not to do: come in with expectations who have no business having.  But, this is Hollywood, the movie version of 21 Jump Street was a hit (and the sequel is coming) , and you're "cool" enough to get a Tarantino cameo.  Industry magician Judd Apatow has your back and you're appearing in Martin Scorsese's next film.  You're in pre-production with Mark Wahlberg, and the roles are coming just as fast to you as they are to that other prize James Franco, who is your costar in a couple of them.  Yeah, either no one is telling you to wipe the bitch face off, or no one is willing to smack it off for him. Self-involved actor fail.

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