Six years ago, after over twenty-five years in the business, Eddie Murphy received his very first Oscar nomination for Dreamgirls as Jimmy. While his talent was never in question, the projects he gravitated to, while often commercially successful, tended not to attract critical favor or AMPAS attention. He won a slew of award body recognitions, including two main precursors the SAG and Golden Globe. He was the odds-on favorite for an Oscar win. Then, Dreamworks/Paramount, the studio behind the successful musical, released a movie called Norbit, a crass, political incorrect comedy which played to the lowest common denominator of humor. Murphy starred in a story about a whipped grown man and his overbearing wife (both played by Murphy, along with another role). The reviews were not kind (it currently sits at 9% on Rotten Tomatoes) and killed the illusion that Murphy's career had turned over a new leaf and he was ready to take on more sophisticated fair. The industry sentiment was they couldn't possibly give an award to a man who plays a rude an obese female, as well as an old racist Chinese man. You could hear the air wafting out of Murphy's campaign as Alan Arkin swept in at the 11th hour, won the BAFTA and ISA (which Murphy was not nominated/eligible for), and ended up swiping what many considered Murphy's to lose. In a striking bit of irony, Norbit would win Murphy three Razzies just a year later. I never saw the movie in the theater. I guess I thought I was too good for it, not realizing that its base brand of humor was right up my juvenile alley. I must have misunderstood the marketing, as I kept confusing it with The Adventures of Pluto Nash and thinking it was set in outer space (Norbit rhymes with 'orbit,' I guess). I had a friend reference the movie recently and thought I'd check it out for a good laugh. I mean, it couldn't be all that bad, right? Considering the string of box-office bombs Murphy has ignited on opening weekends across the years, it was his first solid showing outside of anything with Doolittle, Nutty Professor, Daddy Day Care, or Disney (or Shrek) in the title. Norbit almost grossed $100M domestic, but was it a sum worth it for Murphy, who hasn't had another real opportunity since Dreamgirls to break out of his slapstick typecasting. His legacy seems to remain frozen in the early-to-mid 80s with SNL, Trading Places, and Beverly Hills Cop. The Norbit script came from Murphy, his brother Charles, and the writing team of Jay Scherick & David Ronn, who, though had a promising start writing on Spin City, have gone on to give us such dreck as Zookeeper, Guess Who, and those CGI-Smurf movies (apparently, they're in the process of resurrecting Popeye). Director Brian Robbins went on to work with Murphy two more times in Meet Dave and A Thousand Words, to lesser success.
That being said, if you love a good fart joke and unpolitically correct humor (and if the reviews are any indication, chances are you don't), then Norbit is worth a little less than two hours of your time. Murphy plays a meek cuckold who marries the overbearing Rasputia (also Murphy in some stellar makeup). His childhood sweetheart Kate (Thandie Newton) comes back into town to buy the orphanage they came from. Hijinks ensue. Yes, this movie is stupid, SO wrong, and offensive (to blacks, Asians, females, and overweight people for starters). But, it plays with stereotypes with its tongue firmly set in its cheek and is more harmless than it appears (or maybe it isn't). I have to be honest, I haven't belly-laughed at a movie this much in a while. And it was refreshing. Perhaps it makes me an awful person in the eyes of some, but I'm pretty self-aware, and can separate the joke from reality. How YOU doin'?
Norbit starts out with a little background on the title character. In 1968, we see a car drive by Golden Wonton Orphanage and crudely throw a baby named Norbit Albert Bryce bundled up tightly in a blanket at its doorstep. Mr. Wong (Eddie Murphy in some pretty amazing makeup, that attracted an Oscar nomination for Kazuhiro Tsuji and the legendary Rick Baker) walks out shoeing away some coyotes nipping at the bundle, “No eat another baby.” He picks Norbit up and exclaims disappointingly, “Not another black one, can’t give these away. Ugly black one too. You be here long time … you ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” As a toddler, we see Norbit making friends with a mallard duck in the kitchen. Wong grabs the bird, chops its neck, and throws its head down to Norbit, “Play with that.” Another memory has Wong throwing a harpoon at a one-dimensional whale made out of plywood, while being carried by the orphans.
Norbit becomes good friends with a girl, Kate Thomas. They spend a lot of time together and we see many scenes of them holding hands, including the two sitting on miniature toilets. “We even pooped together.” They have a make-believe wedding, and exchange candy rings; Kate has a watermelon-flavored and Norbit green apple. Kate ends up getting adopted. In bed at night, Norbit stares at his ring, licks it, and then sticks it under his pillow.
At the sandbox in the playground, some twin gingers pick on Norbit. Rasputia Latimore saves him. “Who are you?” “Rasputia, what’s your name?” “Norbit.” “Norbit? That’s a stupid name.” “Why did you beat those boys up?” “To protect you. You got a girlfriend, Nesbit?” she says in her most singsong feminine demeanor as she slightly swings her hips. “Ah, Norbit … no.” “Well, you do now. Get your ass up and hold my hand.” “Okay.” “How YOU Doing?” We go through a sequence of the two bonding. We also see Norbit having dinner over at the Latimore’s, where brother Big Jack (Terry Crews) serves everyone a different part of their cooked bird, Norbit getting the “turkey ass.” Flash forward to 1985, where we see the Latimore brothers wreaking havoc on the town folk, strong-arming them into mafia-like payouts. Norbit takes a job at their construction company in their office. “I’m expecting some important calls today, Norbit. So, when you answer the phone, try to sound white.” Norbit and Rasputia get married.
At the reception, pimps Pope Sweet Jesus (Eddie Griffin) and Lord Have Mercy (Katt Williams) discuss Rasputia. “Back when I was in the game, I used to tell my hoes, ‘Hoes, ain’t no man going to pay for the cow, if he can get the milk for free.’ You needn’t not worry about this brother buying the milk, because he just bought the whole damn cow.” “That’s a special cow too. That must be where buttermilk come from.” “Them are not dimples, them are potholes in her ass.” Wong gives the best man speech, “When you was a little boy, you say, ‘one day, I find the girl of my dreams,’ and then you marry a gorilla. I joke, I joke … When Norbit just little boy he like to always run all over place naked … he had pee-pee size of an egg roll.” Later, Norbit struggles to carry Rasputia over the threshold. And then he endures years of Rasputia’s strong sexual appetite, which includes role playing.
PRESENT DAY
There’s a nice elderly lady, Mrs. Coleman (Jeanette Miller) walking her pug Floyd who greets Rasputia when she walks out the door. Rasputia immediately gives her the business through the dog’s barking, and threatens to harm the pooch. She gets into the driver’s seat of her Gremlin with Norbit already sitting on the passenger’s side, honking the horn inadvertently with her big, bodacious body. “When I inhale my titty, it make the horn honk like this.” She lays into Norbit, “That scientifically proves that you was adjusting my seat.” Before Norbit can even make a point, she gets the last word in, “It is. Just let it go,” and she ends up smacking him when he presses her.
At the orphanage, the Latimore brothers threaten to take Wong’s home and business with a buy off. Wong’s counteroffer is wiping his ass with the contract, returning it, and producing the harpoon. At dance class, Buster Move (Marlon Wayans) leads the group. Rasputia asks for some assistance, and he immediately takes a shine to her orange and black outfit. “Look at you looking like the great pumpkin, girl. Trick or treat.” He agrees to a give her a “private lesson,” if she’ll help fund his latest entrepreneurial endeavor. On the street, Norbit runs into pimps and Rib Shack owners Lord Have Mercy and Pope Sweet Jesus. Norbit orders his food and the two encourage him to join them in the pimping game. He realizes he forgets his puppets for the orphanage and leaves without all of his food, and when he arrives home to retrieve them, he find Buster diddling Rasputia. Buster tries to convince him it’s not what it appears to be, while sporting a full-on erection. Then, they both turn it back on Norbit and blame him. Buster exits with, “I’m going to be like Jesus H. Christ would do in a situation such as this and I’m going to turn the other cheek, Amen,” revealing his rear end as he leaves. Rasputia is a jerk to Norbit. When he stands up for himself, she chases him around the neighborhood. He drops his wedding ring in a garbage can.
Norbit performs a puppet show at the orphanage with two characters. The show is going wonderfully, with the children laughing and enjoying themselves, as the Wong's watch. However, Mr. Wong must cut things short, when Norbit loses track of himself and the performance turns into a hostile interaction between him and Rasputia. “This reminds me of a Chinese snuff film I once costarred in,” says Wong. Kate (Thandie Newton) appears, who is now all grown up. They reunite. She informs him that she has sold her clothing business in Atlanta and is going to use her profits to buy the orphanage. They agree to have lunch on Tuesday, which Norbit can’t wait for, repeating the day over and over again to himself in anticipation. Rasputia: “Say Tuesday again and you ain’t going to see Wednesday.” He even doesn’t care that Buster has paid Rasputia a visit. When Tuesday arrives, Kate introduces Norbit to her fiancée Deion Hughes at a restaurant, much to his disappointment. She explains that Deion knows all about real estate and is going to help her, but we’re made aware that his intentions are nefarious. That night, Norbit unloads on the silent Floyd. The next day, later that evening, Rasputia spots the canine and deliberately runs Floyd over. Norbit leaves her. She tries to get him to stay by lying about a pregnancy.
At a carnival in the town square, the pimps enlist some innocent women to work for them they find at the kissing booth. Kate tries to talk business with Deion. Norbit confesses to Kate that he’s married. He points out Rasputia as the one “sucking down them donuts.” Rasputia’s pretty dismissive of Kate. When Norbit expresses concern about Rasputia’s request for a wine cooler, she informs him that she wasn’t pregnant, “I had gas. I still go it.” And she lets one loose. “There’s your child. Now, go get me something to drink.” She lets another one out, “Twins.” Kate approaches the Latimore brothers about construction work at the orphanage. They’re excited to find out that Wong is willing to sell the place. Rasputia chases after some kids who have absconded with her pink hat into a blowup castle. Kate convinces Norbit to dance with her. Rasputia sends children flying everywhere and destroys the castle. (There’s also an odd, off-color joke involving the pimps and a young girl during the sequence that I’m not sure I’m okay with.) Rasputia spots Norbit dancing with Kate and steam comes out of her ears. “That’s MY wine cooler.” She knocks him out with a speaker.
Kate visits Norbit in the hospital. The Latimore brothers corner Deion, and entice him with their plans to open up a Gentleman’s Club called Nipplopolis. Kate persuades Norbit with a defibrillator to join her and the kids at the waterpark Raging Waters. Deion pretends to have prepared dinner for Kate using takeout and asks her to push up the wedding to Saturday. On his way out of the house, Rasputia catches Norbit trying to sneak out. “Lil Miss Skinny Bitch going to be there?” “Oh, you mean Miss Ling Ling?” “No, you know damn well I ain’t talking about Miss Ling Ling. I’m talking about Miss Thing Thing.” Rasputia invites herself. “I love them. They’re just like a beauty parlor, except you ain’t gotta get on the rides to go to the bathroom. How YOU doing?”
At Raging Waters, an attendant questions Rasputia with her overhanging belly if she has a bottom portion to her bikini on. She lifts her skin up to answer his question as an affirmative. While lounging in the sun, Rasputia tries to play mind games with Kate before getting herself a lamb-kabob and a wine cooler. Kate informs Norbit that the wedding has been moved up and then rides the Leap of Doom.
Rasputia catches Norbit watching Kate. “I’m going to show you how a bitch comes down a slide,” and gives him the hand. An attendant warns Rasputia that she’s too heavy for the slide. “I don’t weigh no damn three hundred pounds. I weigh one-sixty-five. How YOU doing.” She proceeds to descend down the slide at rocket speed, flies through a wall, and lands in a kiddy pool, displacing all the water. A confused little ginger stares at Rasputia, as she shares her catchphrase, “How YOU doing.” Floyd, who is now in a walker visits Norbit. Norbit spends some time with Kate, who teaches him how to ride a bike, while Rasputia watches trash TV. This continues, as Norbit has figured out he can get out of the house and be with Kate, by asking Rasputia to do errands he knows she’s going to refuse to do.
The pimps try to talk Norbit into thinking that the date he has with Kate later is actually a job. Kate and Rasputia run into each other at the beauty parlor. After Rasputia throws her some shade, she gets up for her bikini wax. “Every now and then I got to mow the lawn … Hell, here I come girl. It’s a full moon too.” During the waxing, she kicks over the beautician onto the floor and when she looks down, comments, “Whoo, I was looking for Norbit’s police whistle.”
At the construction site, Jack informs Deion that there is trouble with the rollover of the liquor license for the orphanage (!) and hands him a transfer request. They decide to use Norbit to get Kate to sign the paperwork. The pimps give Norbit a makeover. Norbit meets Kate at Giovanni’s to help her pick food for the wedding. While seated, he explains that he doesn’t come to the restaurant anymore, because Rasputia was banned from taking an all-you-can-eat buffet as a personal challenge, “It got pretty ugly.” Kate, rather in a deadpan fashion, changes the subject by making a toast. They reminisce and discuss their respective relationships. She signs the papers, and they make their way over to the church.
Rasputia figures out that something is up and storms over to Giovanni’s. Everyone plays dumb, but she demands to know, fuming at the top of her lungs, “Then, who was eating the turkey ass?” The preacher (Richard Grant) goes over the vows with Kate and Norbit. Rasputia crashes the car when she sees Norbit kissing Kate inside the church. Norbit chases the confused Kate to the Boiling Springs Bed & Breakfast, where she’s staying. The Latimore brothers take the papers from Norbit when he gets home and laugh at him as he makes his way into the house, where the wrath of Rasputia awaits. She knocks him through the front window. Lying the grass, Norbit asks Floyd (voiced by Charles Q. Murphy) for advice and he tells her to, “Kill the bitch … She took my legs, Norbit … I can’t raise one up to pee. God, I can’t even hump anymore, Norbit. Humping was my thing.” Rasputia walks out on the porch and threatens bodily harm to Kate if he ever gets near her again.
Deion shows Kate the paperwork she signed transferring the liquor license to the Latimore brothers. Rasputia orders Norbit to complete a series of chores, while she takes a bubble bath. Kate informs Norbit about the paperwork. Afraid Rasputia will do something to her, he tries to get Kate to leave. Rasputia walks out onto the porch in front of the now boarded up window she sent Norbit through, to tell Kate that Norbit played her. She runs off in tears. Norbit leaves Rasputia that night and bumps into Wong. They share a heartfelt conversation. “I love you like my own child. Like a boy child, not girl child. Wong once had girl child back in Shanghai. When she two years old, I trade her for yak.” And, “You can’t run from your problems, Norbit. Black people run fast, but problem even faster.” He walks off and debates opening up dry cleaning businesses in Norbit’s neighborhood. Norbit checks the mail and receives the background check on Deion he has been waiting for. He tries calling Kate, but she hangs up on him. The Latimore brothers arrive on Norbit’s doorstep. They inform him of their plans and that Deion has to marry Kate. They lock him in the basement.
The Latimore brothers pick Rasputia up for the wedding. She leaves Blue (Lester Speight) behind to guard Norbit. As Kate prepares, she gazes at her watermelon-flavored candy ring and contemplates the life she really wants. Blue watches one of Buster’s workout tapes. Wong walks Kate down the aisle. Norbit escapes. Big Jack answers his cell during the ceremony. And when a guy in front of him shushes him, he punches him out. The Latimore’s take off to stop Norbit. The pimps create a distraction by “objectulating prematurely” to the proceedings, which includes a sermon and gospel number. Rasputia attacks Norbit from her brother’s moving truck, while he’s riding his bike. He escapes their clutches, and breaks up the wedding, letting the whole congregation know about Deion’s past four marriages and divorce settlements, as well as the Latimore’s plan to take over the orphanage. Kate still decides to go through with the marriage. Norbit then produces Deion’s ex-wives and children. Deion flees and the Latimore’s chase Norbit. When they trap the hapless guy, the townspeople come to his aid. Rasputia steals a shovel and tries to take them all down. Right when Rasputia is about to pummel Norbit, Wong calls her a “whale hoe” from off in the distance. “Did somebody just call me a whale?” “Yeah, and a hoe,” Wong answers and harpoons her from afar.
Kate and Norbit reunite, while Wong and the pimps fondly observe. Norbit narrates their happily ever after, which includes a candy ring exchange. He explains that the Latimore’s ended up supposedly in Mexico, where they opened up El Nipplopolis, featuring Rasputia as their star attraction. She struts down the runway, but then has to get stern with a patron when he gets his hands near her privates. “Hold on now, Pepe. Ain’t nothing going down there, unless it got the word peso written on it.” Pulling down her eye mask, in butchered Spanish, she asks, “¿Cómo estás usted?” The final shot is Rasputia pulling a release that drops water on her as she sits in chair in a shot reminiscent of Flashdance. Roll credits.
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