He pulls the alarm clock towards him, which is attached to a string connected to the record player. An old-timie song starts, Herman jumps out of bed and puts on his bunny slippers which he manipulates to sniff a stuffed carrot doll. He does a short workout and plays with his toys, before sliding down his fireball into the dining area, magically transforming from PJ’s to the grey suit we’ve all come to recognize and love. He wakes his dog Speck. And he lights a candle, setting it under a rope holding up an anvil, which produces a domino effect creating his breakfast for that morning, set to Elfman’s “Breakfast Machine,” complete with a dinosaur motif. There’s a fish aquarium outside his window. He brushes his teeth with an oversized brush and barks at himself. While Speck eats, he wraps Scotch tape across his face giving himself a pig-nose. He weighs a ridiculous 98 lbs, like he’s eleven years old or something. He has a fortune vending machine which warns him to not “leave the house today.” Breakfast is ready and he sits at a diner booth, buttering his toast. He pretends his meal greets him, and he responds, “Good morning, Mr. Breakfast.” As he pours Mr. T cereal on top of his pancakes, eggs, and bacon, he mimics the 1980s TV icon, saying, “I pity the fool who don’t eat my cereal,” and laughs. He eats maybe a spoonful, before he’s done and leaves a gratuitous amount of food behind. He kisses Speck goodbye and goes outside.
There’s a full shot of his bright red house with a yard that is stuffed full of lawn statues and ornaments which thematically cover Christmas, outer space, and American Indians, among others (the house is located at 1846 Oxley St., South Pasadena). He warns his neighbor Mr. Krabtree that he’s going to water his lawn with a kid’s sprinkler (one can only imagine how on earth he cuts the grass with all of that clutter; but, then, again, it's probably astroturf). Out back, he types in a code and pulls a tree branch like a lever, which opens the garage that secures his cherished bicycle. After a few closeup shots set to Elfman’s trumpeting theme, Pee Wee greets his bike, “Good morning, ... I’m here.”
After a quick polish, he walks down the driveway and bumps into his arch nemesis, the spoiled brat Francis Buxton (Mark Holton). “Today’s my birthday and my father said I can have anything I want,” he explains. “Good for you and your father,” Pee Wee responds. Francis asks him to guess what it is he wants and Pee Wee’s response is, “A new brain.” When Francis informs him that he has his eyes on Pee Wee’s bike, he falls to the ground laughing. He refuses to sell his bike for any amount of money. When Francis keeps calling him names, Pee Wee repeatedly answers, “I know you are, but what am I?” Francis joins in the expression and Pee Wee pulls a fast one by saying, “Infinite.” “No, I’m not, you are,” Francis answers. Pee Wee starts stepping on Francis’ words by repeating them as they come out of his mouth. Francis asks him to stop and Pee Wee responds, “Why don’t you make me?” “Why don’t YOU make ME.” “Because, I don’t make monkeys, I just train them.” Francis pleads, “Pee Wee, listen to reason.” He keeps going and Pee shushes him, with one hand to his ear, looking around, “I’m listening to reason.” “PEE WEE!” “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” Francis makes a bid for sympathy, informing him of his history of coveting the bike, but Pee Wee laughs in his face and prepares to leave the conversation, “I love that story.” The real Francis comes out as Pee Wee takes off with a monstrous, “YOU’LL BE SORRY, PEE WEE HERMAN.”
Pee Wee rides through (Griffith?) Park and sings to himself (you can see shots of traffic of the I5 in various moments if it is Griffith). He tries to copy some kids performing stunts on their bikes. His skills equal the level where mine are at (not that high). He continues his ride through Pasadena, towards Milan Avenue, catching the attention of some other kids and then crashing while showing off. He dives into a somersault and seamlessly stands up, “I meant to do that,” he huffs and takes off.
He arrives at the Third Street Promenade (which is miles and miles away from where he was just at, technically) where there is a long row of bikes chained up. He removes an extensive chain and straps his bike to a creepy, mechanical clown statue. He visits Mario’s curio shop for some new supplies, having an irreverent ball while he’s at it. He harmlessly, briefly flirts with a skeptical young woman in a corner, by putting on some xray glasses and then nodding in approval in her direction. Mario (Monte Landis) presents some new items for Pee Wee’s consideration, but he’s not impressed and doesn’t bite until he’s offered some trick gum, headlight glasses, and a (red) boomerang bowtie.
He checks in with his trusted mode of transportation, before stopping by Chuck’s Bike-O-Rama. He runs into some kids he knows who belong to a biking league. As they leave, they give him a hard time when Dottie (Elizabeth Daily) emerges from behind the counter. It’s clear there is a disparity of affection between the two. He’s there to pick up his renovated horn, but she first tries to get him to go on a date. He tries to slide out of the situation by being mysterious: “There’s a lot of things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.” Dottie: “I don’t understand.” He grabs his horn after explaining she couldn’t handle his lifestyle, and walks off with a puckered look on his face. His laughter is interrupted when he’s shocked to find that his bicycle has been stolen. He walks back to Chuck’s Bike-O-Rama in a daze, cries out for Dottie, honks his new and improved horn, and collapses, knocking over a whole row of bikes. The ambulance and police arrive, but a cop delivers him the unfortunate news, while he’s laid up on a gurney, that he’s on his own as far as locating his bicycle. He aimlessly wanders around the Third Street Promenade, noticing other people’s red bikes, but not his own.
He files a missing bike report with Sargent Hunter (Starletta DuPois) at his local precinct. She’s limited to how she can help him, but she does ask him questions prompting him to recall his interaction with Francis from earlier that day. He races over to Ahmanson Mansion on 401 South Hudson Place in Hancock Park, LA, and bangs on the door. The butler (Professor Toru Tanaka) answers and informs Pee Wee that Francis is busy with his bath. “Oh, really, where are they hosing him down?” He manages to sneak in using a fake-knocker. He locates Francis in his swimming pool, locks them both in, and they begin to wrestle in the water. Francis’ father (Ed Herlihy) intervenes and Pee Wee ends up apologizing, but manages to get the last laugh by feeding them both the trick gum, which unknowingly oozes out black from the sides of their mouths. He elicits Dottie’s help to put up reward signs, before he goes on the air. Francis hears the broadcast and pays the thief who stole the bike, asking him dispose of it. That night, Pee Wee holds a long and extensive meeting with all of his friends detailing all of the evidence involved with the bike’s disappearance, as well as plenty of superfluous items. After three hours, most everyone leaves as Pee Wee’s obsessiveness has gotten the best of him.
In a dark and rainy alley, Pee Wee visits a charlatan fortune teller Madam Ruby (Erica Yohn). She feeds him a bunch of cock and bull while peering into her magic ball and sifting through his wallet. She sees some signs across the street, which inspire her to tell him the bike is "in the basement" of the Alamo. So, he hitchhikes to Texas, which is slow-going at first. Finally, an escaped convict Mickey (Judd Omen) picks him up; he has a broken handcuff attached to his wrists. He reveals that his crime was cutting off a mattress tag. Pee Wee’s weird personality kind of freaks Mickey out, but they get along just fine. Unbeknownst to Pee Wee, a truck carrying his bike passes them. He tells him his story before they’re pulled over by some cops. They quickly disguise themselves and pretend to be a married couple. The officer (Bill W. Richmond) asks Pee Wee, who is in makeshift drag, to get out of the car so he can admire “the cute little outfit” he has on. Pee Wee uses his wiles to charm the man and the couple are sent on their way. Mickey steals a lascivious gander at Pee Wee that’s kind of hot. That night, while Pee Wee drives, he asks Mickey about penitentiary life. He accidentally drives them off a cliff, but manages to parachute down by employing the convertible’s canvass hatch. Mickey kicks him out of the car and leaves him in the middle of nowhere, claiming that he’s a bad influence on Pee Wee.
There’s a cartoon segment involving eyes in the pitch dark. He uses his fancy new flashlight goggles and finds himself surrounded by a cornucopia of animals. He’s picked up by a trucker, Large Marge (Alice Nunn). She’s a bit of a spook and launches into her famous monologue, ominously delivered, “On this very night, ten years ago, on the same stretch of road, in a dense fog just like this, I saw the worst accident I’d ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck, dropped off the Empire State Building. And when they finally pulled the driver’s body from the twisted, burning, wreck, it looked like this: [Marge’s face bursts into a spooky look with her eyes popping out care of claymation]. Yes sir, that was the worst accident I’d ever seen.” Pee Wee is creeped out and asks to be let off. Her parting words: “Be sure and tell them Large Marge sent you,” cackling afterwards, before taking off.
Pee Wee walks over to the Wheel Inn Restaurant (in Cabazon, CA) and freaks everyone out by following Large Marge’s directions. A man gets up and delivers Marge’s monologue and indicates a shrine commemorating Marge’s death. Pee Wee has a meal and the waitress Simone (Diane Salinger) befriends him. He realizes the fortune teller took his wallet and has to pay for his meal by dishwashing. Before he leaves, he agrees to watch the sunrise with Simone. Her jealous boyfriend Andy (Jon Harris) watches them find their place inside of a large dinosaur, as they talk about future dreams. Hers is to live in Paris. She tries to explain why she can’t, but Pee Wee tries to be proactive, “But, what? Everyone I know has a big but. Come on, Simone, let’s talk about your big but.” Andy eavesdrops and thinks there is something going on between them. He uses a giant fake dinosaur bone to attack Pee Wee, who manages to escape on a passing train. He falls asleep and has a claymation dream of a dinosaur eating his bike. On the train, he meets Hobo Jack (Carmen Filpi) and they engage in a medley of songs. Jack’s voice isn’t the most pleasant and Pee Wee soon tires, not being able to take it anymore and throwing himself off the train in agony. He realizes he has landed in San Antonio near The Alamo. Guide Tina (the always outstanding Jan Hooks) is there holding a tour. Pee Wee endures the entire tour only to learn that “there is no basement at the Alamo.” Everyone laughs at Pee Wee and he runs off in shame and frustration.
At a bus stop, Pee Wee bumps into Simone, who broke up with Andy and is heading for Paris. She catches her bus and he calls Dottie. He proves his location to her by getting passerbys to sing the refrain from “Deep in the Heart of Texas.” He apologizes to Dottie and she puts Speck on the phone. After conversing with his pooch, he asks Dottie to wire him a bus ticket. She tries to use her leverage to squeeze a date out of the situation. He runs into Andy, who chases him across town. Pee Wee evades the situation by dressing up as a cowboy and finds himself riding a bull. Andy recognizes him as he remains on the bull and the crowd cheers. The bull ends up chasing Andy and some rodeohands pull an exhausted Pee Wee aside.
At a private leather Apache Bar for Satan’s Helpers (Halfway House Café in Santa Clarita), he places a call. He asks the noisy revelers to quiet down, “I’m trying to use the phone,” which they don’t take so well. They ask him to leave and on his way out he deliberately knocks over a bike, which happens to bring down a line of motorcycles in a domino effect, like earlier at the bike shop. They pull Pee Wee back into the club and discuss how they are going to kill him. Another busts in and wants at him. Pee Wee is obliged a last request and does his notorious dance on the bar in a cook’s white platform shoes to "Tequila" on the jukebox. He throws bottles and continues to dance, much to the biker’s enjoyment. They loan him a motorbike and he takes off, hilariously crashing through a sign off in the distance. He’s rushed to the hospital and has another nightmare involving clowns operating on the broken parts of his cycle. Francis also makes an appearance as a devil who summons the bike to be dropped in a huge boiling cauldron.
He wakes up to a special on the TV showing that a child, Kevin Morton (Jason Hervey, who would soon star in The Wonder Years as Kevin's older brother), is being presented a special gift, which happens to be Pee Wee’s bicycle. Pee Wee travels to the Warner Bros. back lot, where he tries to blend in with Milton Berle’s entourage. Nothing and nobody are as they seem, as Pee Wee asks for directions. During the filming of a scene, director Jerry (Zach Hoffman) tries to juggle everyone’s egos on set, including actress Mary (Lynne Maria Stewart) who plays Mother Superior and Kevin, who isn’t so sweet and kind when the cameras aren’t rolling. Meanwhile, Pee Wee has disguised himself as one of the nuns in the scene. One of Mary’s lines is telling Kevin’s character Rusty that he’s an inspiration. Pee Wee throws in a little improv, “I’ll say, I’m going to start a paper route right now.” He strips off his costume and takes off on his bike, with security in tow.
During the chase, he uses extra exhaust to create a distraction. He encounters colored elephants, utilizes facades on the lot to fool his pursuers, and rides through scenes including beach blanket bingo, North pole elves, Godzilla, war, and a Twisted Sister video of “You’re Going to Burn in Hell.” He employs a water slick, before swinging across on a vine in a Tarzan scene and then falls out of the Warner's lot into a neighborhood. He comes across a pet shop on fire and rescues various animals, even those he doesn’t want to rescue, like snakes. Later, he’s shown the footage captured of him destroying the Warner lot. Terry Hawthorne (Tony Bill) makes him an offer to turn his life into a movie. Dottie arrives with his bike and he shakes hands with Mr. Hawthorne.
He finally takes Dottie to the Drive-In where they’re showing Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. All of his friends are there, including old and those he met on his journey. When the movie starts, James Brolin plays Pee Wee, Morgan Fairchild is Dottie, and he rides around on his X1 motorbike. There’s sexual content, ninjas. Nothing like the real story. So Hollywood.
The actual Pee Wee brings refreshments to the Hobos, Mickey. Simone is there with her new boyfriend Pierre (Gilles Savard), as are Satan’s Helpers.
Pee Wee has a cameo in the movie. “No, nothing right now Mr. Herman,” he tells Brolin in a dubbed voice. “Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk.” Brolin decides he must find the bike on his own, but Fairchild convinces him otherwise and says, “You are such a pushover.” His response: “I know you are, but what am I?”
At the drive-in, Phil Hartman is there interviewing Francis, who feigns being friends with Pee Wee. He insists on sitting on Pee Wee's bike. Pee Wee uses the ejectible seat to get rid of Francis. Dottie wants to stay for the rest of movie, but Pee Wee insists they leave. “I don’t have to see it, Dottie. I lived it.” They ride off.
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